Crisis Of Desire

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{TRIGGER WARNING! EXPLICIT CONTENT! DO NOT READ IF YOU CAN'T HANDLE IT, THANK YOU! Otherwise, enjoy!} 

Cataleya Valentina Velez:

6-0-0-6. 

I wait for the little beeping sound and smile when I hear the door unlock. Rio never told me the code, so I simply sneaked a glance when he opened the door for the past week. 

The door opens and closes behind me, instantly falling into its lock. 

I step into the hall and go straight to the Red Room, trying to stay as quiet as I can. Not that anyone will hear. 

This place is literally soundproof. The only way someone could hear is if the door was open, and it's closed now. 

I step into the room and glance around again, just like I did the first time. But a little different. 

At first, I was hesitant, all of this was crazy, or so I thought. Sometimes I still think about all of this. 

About the fact that I let Rio, the man who threatened to kill me, the man who hates me with every cell in his body, the man who forced me to get a tattoo that will make me owe him until the day I die, do this stuff to me. I let him use almost everything in this room on me. 

Which is insane if you ask me. 

But I would have a perfect explanation for it. 

It's not love. It will never be love. It's just pure lust. Lust and nothing more. 

I did exactly as Neveah told me to, well, advised me to. Use him for my own pleasures. And that's exactly what I'm doing. 

Using him for my own pleasures, experimenting with what I can do, discovering new things he can do to me, finding out what I like and don't like. 

All with his help. I'll never admit it, but it's all thanks to him. I would've never used any of these things if it wasn't for him. 

But if I ever tell him that, he'll use it against me forever. 

And that's not going to happen. 

I walk over to the place where the whips are stored, a wooden drawer with a glass top, and open it. Taking in all the different whips. 

Over the past two months, we've been using almost all of the things in here and I liked most of it. The one thing I didn't like was the sticks. The sticks he uses instead of whips. They hurt too much. 

Wait, where are the- I turn around and look at the door. No one's there, but I'm sure I heard something, so I stay put for a few seconds. 

When no more sounds are coming from the hall, I make my way over to another drawer, opening it to see the vibrators. These I loved. 

I feel my cheeks flush red at just the thought of it. To think that I barely knew about any of this, about sex, it's insane. 

And even now I feel like I don't even know half of the shit there is to sex. That's why I stay with Rio, he has to teach me all of it. Just as the contract says.

But I wouldn't say I'm as addicted as Neveah and Leonardo. They're on a whole nother level. They're obsessed with fucking each other. 

Rio and I don't have that. And I'm happy we don't. Neveah and Leonardo are in love with each other, something that will never happen between Rio and me, it's as if they're trying to get pregnant. 

I don't want a relationship like that with Rio. Where we're obsessed with each other. It's not good. At least not for us. We both hate each other.