The Oldest Nara: Kakashi x Reader

33: Lilac

The days seemed to drag on.

I wasn't really handling anything well, but to keep myself distracted, I was helping Shikamaru with his plan to take down the Akatsuki members.

He was absolutely brilliant. The way his mind worked and his ability to strategize while working through every possible outcome, it left me in awe.

I wish I could be like that.

Today, he was working on training with Ino and Choji, so I was going to do something that was long overdue.

I had been wanting to do something to remember and memorialize my son without giving away what actually happened, and I decided on the perfect thing.

The Nara clan has always been known for our connection to nature, and that was just as true for me. It seemed to be the only thing that ever made me feel truly whole.

So today, I was planting a flower bush out in the Nara's sacred garden. It was located near the clan forest, and for generations, it's where the Nara clan leaders would meditate and connect.

My father had taken me there years ago, and lately, I found myself there almost everyday. I needed the time alone where I could feel the strength and peace of those that came before me.

"What are you up to?" I turned to see my mom standing over me as I crouched down looking through some storage areas for gardening tools.

"I need a shovel and some soil. Do we have any?"

"Hmm?" she tilited her head. "For what?"

I had been spending a lot of time at home lately too. Kakashi moved my stuff into his place, and I could barely even bring myself to look at him. It hurt too much.

Plus, hiding this from him was eating away at me, but I just didn't want to tell him. Not yet. Not while we're planning this attack and while he's helping take care of Kurenai.

"The sacred garden," I finally stood up and looked at her.

"As in the clan leader garden?"

I nodded, "Yep."

"I didn't realize you were adding to it."

"I'm allowed to, aren't I? Dad said it was mine now too."

"Of course!" her face beamed brightly at me. "I'm just glad to know that's still your plan!"

I didn't understand what she meant... Of course it was still my plan to be the clan leader. Why wouldn't it be? Either way, I didn't really have the energy for this conversation.

"So the soil and stuff?" I asked.

She led the way and left me alone once I got everything I needed. I walked to the far side of our district, back towards the tree line, carrying my supplies.

I sighed loudly as I set it all down next to the plant I was getting ready to sow, already feeling the tears coming to my eyes.

I quickly shook away the sadness, refocusing on my task, and began to dig. After the generations, the garden was lively and blooming, even partially overgrown but in the most beautiful way.

A small pathway trailed through, leading up to some cheery blossom and maple trees that had probably been here over a hundred years now. Underneath their shade is where there was an area for relaxing and meditating.

All around were brightly colored flowers and plush, green plants and bushes. There were even herbs around that I could use to make medicines.

Although the clan had a different area for growing medicinal herbs, these had been planted by the first clan leader.