Bring Me Home // Bucky Barnes

Chapter XXVII - There's A Story

Bucky woke with a start and reached for the phone Steve had given him. 03:47. His heart was pounding and his body was glistening with a sheen of sweat. In his mind the grip of HYDRA remained firm and twisted, reaching out to him, reminding him of all the pain and suffering he had caused. He had felt the world slipping away underneath him as their faces flashed before him, as their bodies piled up. He sniffled as he pulled himself from the floor and threw the pillow and blanket back on to the bed.

In the closet was a small pile of clothing Steve had given him and he rummaged for some joggers. When he had first arrived Steve tried to take him out to get him what he needed, but after just five minutes in the crowded streets he found himself racing back to the compound and crashing into her as his breathing became heavier and his chest crushed itself from the inside.

*

"Dammit!" Coffee spread over her blouse, sticking it to her stomach as she pulled back, her hands out in front of her. When she looked up at him the frustration dissipated and concern took its place. "Hey. What's wrong?"

"Nothing, I'm fine." His voice was gruff and thick with panic as his eyes darted back to the door. "Sorry about that."

"Okay, that's a lie." She raised her eyebrows at him as she waited. "You know I can actually help if you talk to me."

Bucky sighed as she walked away and stepped into the elevator before turning to him. She held the door open and raised her eyebrows, gesturing with her head for him to join her. "Come on Sergeant. You're due a check up anyway. You can tell me what's wrong down in my office."

*

Slipping a dark t-shirt on as he crept out of his room Bucky found himself wandering the halls of the compound. He'd been here a month and still felt like a stranger overstaying their welcome. In the vast living room he glanced at the photographs on the walls - Tony Stark and Elizabeth at some sort of graduation ceremony; Steve and Natasha sitting by a lake somewhere smiling; Steve wrapped around Elizabeth as they both laughed; Elizabeth and Sam; Elizabeth, Natasha and Clint; the whole team at the beach. He traced the story of his best friends life and tried to piece it all together but his eyes lingered on the pictures of her.

He hadn't spent much time with her and he knew why. She avoided him unless she was needed. She feared him. He allowed the sadness of his realisation settle over him as he turned away from the photographs and padded back to his room, his mind pre-occupied with thoughts of her, unaware of the fact he had not been alone in the dark.

Elizabeth sighed as she watched him leave.

For a month now she had felt the ache of being close to him and being unable to hold him. With each passing day the pain grew sharper, more damaging, and so, when Bucky walked into the living room, fresh out of another nightmare, Elizabeth had sunk into the cushions of the couch with her tea in her hands and hoped he wouldn't come that far into the room.

She had watched him, desperately longing to speak to him and at a loss for what to say, as he stood transfixed on the photographs covering the back wall of the room. As she drank in the sight of him she paid attention to the tinier details she had so long fought against noticing.

Bucky's hair was almost past his shoulders now and it grew with the gentlest of waves. Most days he pushed it back and left it hanging loosely around his face, but tonight he had pulled it into a low bun, revealing the veins on his neck. The muscles in the back of his neck were tense and the way he stood suggested he hadn't relaxed them in years. In the gentle glow of the lights outside the compound she could just about make out the soft creases in the side of his face as he furrowed his brow again.