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~*~*~
"why am i so stupid?"
~*~*~
"was she okay with it?" asked james as he looked down at regulus who had his head on his chest with a book open.
"yeah," said regulus, hooking his leg over james' to get more comfortable, "she's my best mate at the end of the day."
james hummed in response and let regulus have a bit of quiet to read his book. they were in james' room in the heads' dorms with the door locked incase lily came in for any reason. there was something else on james' mind he'd been meaning to talk to regulus about on nights like this but got always got sidetracked by regulus himself.
"reggie?" said james to which regulus mumbled as though he was asking what james wanted, "do you reckon we could tell sirius?"
"no," said regulus assuredly and then said nothing else which made james huff a laugh at the lack of reasoning regulus gave.
"care to elaborate?"
"there's no point involving anyone else because then everyone else will have opinions and something to say and i don't care what they have to say about us, therefore, i don't think i need to hear it," said regulus as he flipped the page in his book, "why do you want to tell sirius? him and i aren't like we used to be anyway."
"i just don't want to keep secrets from my best mate," said james simply, "you could be like how you used to be if you spoke to him."
"speak to him?" scoffed regulus and james regretted what he had said because regulus' tone had turned sour and defensive, "he hasn't even said so much as a sorry after what he did to me."
regulus sat up from james, acting as if he was just stretching but he was annoyed at what james had said. he crossed his legs and put his book in his lap and read it from there instead, although he felt colder without james next to him.
"what have i done wrong?" asked james with a sad, soft tone, sitting up to look at regulus who felt rather guilty at his sudden mood change.
"nothing," said regulus, shaking his head and looking back down to his book, "you haven't done anything wrong, you've been a great friend to sirius. but, my brother has been a terrible brother to me. if the roles were reversed and i was the gryffindor who didn't fit in and he was the slytherin just trying to get by, i wouldn't have abandoned him to fend for himself, even if i thought he could handle it."
"maybe that's something you should tell him," said james, putting his hand around the back of regulus' neck and then ran his fingers through his hair, "trust me, reggie, he doesn't love anyone as much as he loves you."
