resist the siren's call

24

"The mind is like water. When it's turbulent, it's difficult to see. When it's calm, everything becomes clear."

I sat on the edge of the dock swinging my legs over the edge.

I had meant to tell Nixie about us leaving in a few weeks, but what if she didn't want to leave?

I looked down to the waves crashing against the support beams of the dock.

What's gotten into her?

Clomping sounds came closer behind me. I didn't want to turn and see who it was, but against my will my instincts turned to see Caspian. He was still dressed formally, but there was a slight dishevelment about him, "What are you doing here?" I asked him.

He sat down on the end with me, "Nobody could find you." He looked into my eyes, "Your friends we're worried."

I turned to watch the sun come close to the horizon. I didn't know what to say.

"You should've told someone, from what they told me you just...stormed out."

I scoffed, "If you had heard the nonsense Nixie was saying, you'd understand."

He leaned against the railing, "Well, go on then."

I looked at him, "What do you mean?"

"Tell me what 'nonsense' Nixie was saying." He smiled playfully.

I laughed airily, "You'd agree with her."

"Oh come on, just try me."

I rolled my eyes, "Alright. She was going on and on about this guy, Tony, that she's been..." I sputtered, "she's been seeing lately and how in love with him she is which is just bullshit!" I looked at him, "Sirens don't fall in love, it's outrageous. And then," I shook my head, "she started talking about how 'not all men are horny bastards' and how some of them are gentlemen." I sighed, "Then she told me that I was 'bitter' cause nobody has every loved me."

I huffed and looked at the ocean, letting the waves calm my angered heart.

When I calmed down I turned to him, "I am not bitter."

He scratched his cheek before letting out a small laugh, "I guess I never understood how sirens looked at affection."

I blinked and looked over to him, "What do you mean?"

He shrugged, "It's just, I never thought you were so against the idea of love."

"Love is a lie. A hoax made up by humans to feel better."

He leaned forward, "Who hurt you? Why is the idea of love so dangerous to you?"

"I don't know what you mean." I turned back to the sunset.

"Oh come on Astrid. It doesn't matter what people tell you, you're never that passionate about something unless you've had an experience with it."

"How do you know that?"

He leaned back, "That's just how everyone works."

I touched my tongue to the roof of my mouth, "Yeah, well. You're not wrong. But doesn't that just mean that I know? I know that love is a lie."

He smiled, "Who was it? A merman? A sailor?"

I laughed, "Why do you care?"

"No reason." He tried to hold back a smile, "I just wanted to congratulate him, he affected you. Emotionally."

I leaned over and shoved him, "That's not nice." I laughed, "Loads of people affect me emotionally."

"Like who?"

"Like..." My mind pulled a blank and I laughed, "Okay, but what about you, huh? I don't see women falling at your feet."

He shrugged and looked at the water, "None of the women here are my kind of woman."

I gave a half-smile, "Oh? And what's your kind of woman?"

He looked into my eyes, "I'm not sure yet."

I laughed, "So you like men," I laughed, "I got it."

"No," He laughed and scrunched up his nose, "No, I definitely like women."

We made eye contact and started laughing again. Something about him...

After we'd both stopped I said, "Anyway, I just wish Nixie could realise that Tony is not worth staying here for."

His tone shifted, and he frowned, "She wants to stay for him."

I huffed, "That's the problem. I don't know, but that's what she's making it seem like."

"And what do you think?"

"Obviously I think she's being irrational and ridiculous! She can't be in love with this guy, that's just." I sighed, "Sirens don't fall in love."

"I was actually asking, what would you think if you were in Nixie's position?"

"What do you mean?"

"If you fell in love, on land, would you stay?"

"Caspian, I told you. Sirens don't-"

"Sirens don't fall in love, I got it. But if you thought they did and you did, then would you stay?"

I paused and looked down, "Well, I'm not sure. Maybe if I was an idiot." Caspian laughed and I joined him, "I'm not kidding! It's ridiculous she thinks it's possible." I looked at him and together we said, "Sirens don't fall in love."

He smiled, "Why is that so important to you? That sirens don't fall in love. You say it like a reminder or a, a mantra."

I gave a reluctant laugh, "No I don't. It's just the truth."

"Mhm," He pushed up off the ground and stood, "Well Astrid, I'm going back to the castle. It's getting late, you should too."

And with that, he left.

I frowned, "Do I say it like a mantra?" I whispered to the sea.

The waves beat no different, but I felt like I got an answer: Yes, you do.