How Long is Forever [COMPLETED]

Author's Note

If this was a dream, then at least I've got
Memories for when morning comes
Now that I must leave with a heavy heart
Oh, Wonderland I love

(Anson Seabra – Welcome to Wonderland)

You probably knew this was coming. The truth is, it's hard for me to let go, and some afterword is exactly the right thing for me, hehe ~

I have said it before on other sites, but wow. What a journey!

On December 31in 2020, I published the first chapter of CiaD. It wasn't meant to be a full story back then – just some oneshots for Chishiya with whatever would come to my mind. People liked it much more than I had expected, and it was so much to write, so I continued and somehow it evolved into a full story.

Not that long ago, I made some changes to the first chapters of CiaD because I've got so many complaints about how embarrassing and stalkerish and creepy it is. Those complaints still come even with the changes, but I won't change it again. Comparing CiaD to HLiF is a wonderful way to view the changes I have went through myself while writing the books.

CiaD is raw and weird at times, but I still like to read parts of it now and then. And HLiF is way more intense, has much more development and background. Just like the relationship between Chishiya and our reader, isn't it?

I am not joking when I say that I wouldn't be here without every single one of you. You made it possible for me to go this far, with every vote and every comment you left. Never before has something I did reached so many people and received this much positive feedback, and I'm incredibly happy that you made this possible for me!

Did you know that halfway through CiaD, I was sure the story wouldn't have a happy ending? During that time, I had planned for Chishiya to leave the Beach and never come back to the reader again. Heartbreak is just something I love to write, you know that, but somehow I couldn't let it end like this. Simply because I didn't want it to end at all.

So we had the reunion and moved into the second stage. And I'm glad I chose to! I was not able to update every day like I did with CiaD, but I could take more time for each chapter, they became longer and deeper both story- and character-wise.

I apologize if you don't want to hear about all that; I just... want to talk about it somehow.

About the end of HLiF! I am aware that some of you were not happy with it. Some might be angry with me because Chishiya never got to say "I love you". He has said it multiple times already, although he used different words or none at all to express it. And I'm not sure if he'd ever say it at all, because he's still Chishiya (:

When I was reading the manga, I was not happy at all with the ending either. I couldn't understand why everyone had to suffer that memory loss – all those friends and lovers simply forgetting about each other! Some of them found their other half again, sure. But not everyone. It's still a thought that breaks my heart, but at least Chishiya and our reader found a way to each other again.

Because they might not remember anything, but the heart hasn't forgotten about it.

And no, there won't be a sequel to this. Their story continues, but I won't be the one to tell it. I won't completely vanish, though – with this book finished, I will finally try to give The Human Heart some love. It still waits to get finished, and I still have a Niragi fic I want to write. Which won't be a happy one, though.

Once again, thank you for being part of this journey. Maybe you'll think about this story once in a while, like I will think about the amazing time I had with you guys.

Love you guys, honestly. You're the best readers I could have ever imagined!

Let me end this note with a quote from the last chapter:

The next person taking this path will see them and will know that someone has been there. They will never know your name, never recognize your face, but in some way, those traces will still leave an impact. Maybe only a single thought that doesn't last longer than a second, but an impact nonetheless.