Lost in Austen: Reborn

Chapter 24 - Pemberley

"He [Darcy] expressed himself on the occasion as sensibly and as warmly as a man in violent love can be supposed to." Jane Austen

Darcy watched me awaiting an answer. Biting his lower lip, he lifted his eyebrows as I considered his request. I imagined a big question mark floating in the air only to fall and hit me on the head before I could give an answer. However, seeing that my life was no cartoon strip, I was forced to think, and I hated thinking. It seemed to be all I ever managed. This business of thinking was highly overrated because the more I thought, the more I analyzed, and the more I analyzed, the more I came to insane conclusions.

Conclusion number one: Darcy was falling in love with me.

I observed him quietly, taking him in. He was just as I had envisioned. He was tall with a voice that made me weak in the knees. Such a voice should have been against the law. It was sonorous, commanding, and vulnerable at the same time. His dark brown hair was striking against his cream-colored skin. In truth, it looked like a borderline mullet, but it worked for him. And believe me, mullets never worked for anyone. Period.

I gazed at his lips as he spoke, "Miss Elizabeth is something wrong? You have yet to make an answer."

Snap out of it Amanda! I thought to myself. You have priorities, which include getting Lydia engaged to Mr. Palmer and getting home to the real world.

"Miss Elizabeth?"

I blinked, "YES!"

"Yes, you will come to Pemberley?"

"I, uh, what? No!" I stammered, "I mean..."

"No?"

I took a deep breath, "No. I meant-"

"I suppose I have taken you by surprise."

He took his hands in mine, and I stood up from the chaise; tossing the blanket away. Lydia's predicament weighed heavy on my mind. I wanted to help her out. I needed to see her happy once more.

He mused, "What goes on in your mind?"

"You act as though I'm a mystery to solve."

"You are as complex as a well-composed novel," he smiled down at me, "each page containing some new information I am yet to uncover."

"Sir," I pronounced, "you are as mysterious as I am. Why are you stating your love for me now? It's all so sudden."

Mr. Darcy nodded, "I confess, at first, my feelings for you were of a volatile nature."

"Oh." I let go of his hands.

"But," he smiled as he occupied my hands in his again, "it was because I did not understand my feelings."

"What do you mean you don't understand?" I asked in confusion. "You don't choose who you fall in love with, it naturally happens."

"Not in my world," Darcy muttered. "Love is an amenity. Some find it but, for people like me, it does not happen. We carve our path to success, not love."

"Oh dear," I softened, "That sounds so lonely."

"Yes, I imagine it does."

"Then," I turned my head upward, "you do not understand why you fell in love with me?"

"What I do know when I saw you in danger and hurt from the accident, I made a conscious decision never to leave your side." He sent me an apologetic look, "When you said that you wanted to run away, I knew it was because of my behavior towards you. It had never been my plan for you to dislike me."