Marvel One-Shots

Hitchhiker {Wade Wilson x Reader}

(Y/n) P.O.V.

"Everyone is told they're not supposed to pick up hitch hikers beacuase they might be serial killers, however, serial killers often pick up hitch hikers and kill them. So do you ever wonder what if a serial killer picked up another serial killer and would they become best friends? Yes, obviously. Imagine this: A girl is hired to kill this man, right? So she waits, and watches, and learns his habits. Turns out he drives to the same restaurant every day."

"You go to the same restaurant everyday?"

"They have really good chimichangas."

"Anyways! She decides the best course of action. She puts a gun in a hidden thigh holster, and hitchhikes. She hopes he'd pick her up, debating on how idiotic he really is. Turns out, he's idiotic enough to pull over and pick her up. In her head she was laughing at him, thinking what kind of an idiot picks people up? What if they're a serial killer? Because I totally want there to do that at all! Haha, no that'd be crazy."

"But you didn't kill him..."

"Shut up, I'm telling this story. And who even said it's about us? They make light polite conversation. He asks where she's going, she pretends their going to the same place. She spots that he has a gun in the small compartment between them. They both reach for it. Their hands brush while reaching for the gun. It's like a classic movie where they look up at each other, eyes wide, romantic music in the background, hearts everywhere. Their stuck into each other's eyes. Until she grabs the gun and shoots him in the head."

"But he doesn't die!"

"Damn right he didn't! He gives some unsettling and abnormal curses, she's laughs, he laughs, it's a thing. And the kicker? That's how we met!" I finish the story excitedly to a bored looking Dopinder. "I know. It was obvious from the beginning, and you've told this story three times." He says shortly. "Don't snap at me! I know several ways to kill you and make it look like an accident." I retort. "Babe, I've already told you, you can't kill him. I'm mentoring him." Wade insists. "Mr. Pool, I don't understand why you would go out with someone who immediately shot you."

"Dopinder, I have amazing advice. Have I ever steered you wrong? I know what I'm doing." Dopinder muttered agreement, but didn't continue. I smile at Wade. "We're both a little fucked up, huh?" I can tell he's smiling back through the mask. "Always." I lift the mask enough to see his mouth, and make out with him. "Crazy hitchhikers." Dopinder murmurs.