ThE inFaMoUS LoVe StOrY

CHAPTER 41

Kritika's pov

"Hey",I said as I  entered Stefan's room and found him on the bed with his guitar.

"Hi",he replied."Had your dinner?"

"Yeah.The dinner was delicious and I had a good time in the wedding.It was fun",I said as I made my way onto the bed and placed myself beside him.
"Are you happy?You don't look good",I said as I could sense that Stefan was not being himself and sounded off.

"Why wouldn't I be happy?Bella got married and I'm definitely happy. I'm just guilty about certain things",he said as flicked the lights off and and layed on his side of the bed and tucked himself in.
"Listen I'm gonna get some sleep. You should sleep too",he said turning to the other side,his back facing to me.

"Okay".

Why is he acting strange? I'm worried and I don't think he is okay and on top of it he is not ready to speak out.

"You are not asleep,are you?",I asked finally breaking the deafning silence after almost 45 minutes.

"No...I..umm need some water. It's okay, I'll be right back.You sleep",he said and left.

"Stefan are you okay? You act so strange... I'm worried.Now that you are not asleep tell me why are you feeling guilty?",I said.

"Umm... It's nothing.It's a long story.You should sleep and I'm gonna sleep too",he said laying on his bed.

"I don't care if it's long, I'll hear it out and Stefan you are not allowed to dodge telling your stories only because they are long.You know what it makes me feel useless because I'm unable to help you and that is because you don't choose to speak at all.I definitely know that you are not okay and now tell me what it is that is bugging you and not letting you sleep?",I shifted closer to him and now placing my head on his shoulders and my hand on his chest, slowly carassing his hair with my free hand.

"Bella said that she was missing dad today",he spoke finally.

"That's obvious right?Why do you feel guilty then?"

"Kritika just promise me that you are not gonna judge me at this okay.I need to make sure",he says turning to my side and now hugging me so that my body was totally burried into his.My ears were on top of his chest and I could hear his heart racing fast.

"I won't judge you.I promise,just say".

"I feel that my father died because of me",he finally spoke.

I couldn't process things for a while because that sentence he just spoke was that heavy.

"He died of lung cancer right?",I manage to ask the question only in hope that he would change the sentence that he just let out of his mouth.

"That's right. He died of lung cancer",he said and I sighed a breath of relief knowing that Stefan was not an actual murderer.

"Okay bu..

"My father was never happy with what I did.He despised me for whatever I was.He always wanted me to do something good academically like one of my sisters and I just couldn't do that. He was not happy with my career and he avoided me by all means",he said.

"Stefan why wouldn't he like you?I mean ...look at you..your success.You are the best vocalist of the generation",I say.All this just didn't make sense.

"I know I'm successful but I was also involved into some nasty things like drugs and I was into lot of women,I was involved in controversies,scandals right from very young age.My father didn't like whatever was going on with me and I on the other hand was loving my life too much to give up all that.I know I could do nothing academically and I didn't even try anything.I did what I always wanted to do but I ended up receiving hatred from my father.I brought a new girl home every day to sleep with me every night but my father had a problem with that too.I eventually left the house and shifted to the appartment that I bought with my own money.I wouldn't change for anyone and it was just too much for me because I'll end up being someone that I never wanted and in this process I would kill my dreams and ambitions and that is suicide.I would never do it.My father didn't like whatever I was getting into and so he started smoking and apparently he smoked so much that he ended up dead succumbed to lung cancer.I know I was not doing the right thing but I was young and enjoyed what I did.After his death,I made sure that my sisters receive the best education like he always wanted and that was all I could do for him",he ended.

Now it completely made sense.

"So didn't you know that he was a chain smoker and how do you know that he started smoking because of you?Did he ever mention that to you?",I asked.

"I never knew that he had a lung condition in the first place.On top of that he started to smoke so it was obviously harmful.He never directly told me that he started to smoke because of me but he used to say that I put him under a lot of stress all the time.That was pretty obvious,I was in the news all the time.People start smoking to avoid stress so that made sense.I smoked myself a lot to tell him to stop smoking and I never knew about his lungs.He himself didn't know."

"I don't think there is any point here for holding you responsible for his death.He chose that for himself the same way you chose what you wanted in your life and in the end it destroyed him.I don't think you were wrong in any way.You could write good songs and sing them melodiously and that's what brought you sucess and that's your talent.It is very important for parents to acknowledge what the child wants to do with his life and then support him",I spoke my heart out.

"You really think that?",he asked as if he wanted to reassure.

"Yes".

"But the point here is he just couldn't live long enough to see his beloved daughter getting married and I guess that's because of me",he said.

"But he has a son who would take care of all his daughters and his wife amd make sure they lead their life in the best way", said reassuring him.

"This thing has been eating me up since last three years and I just can't move on from this",he said while we were still burried into each other.

"Yes.I can say that you are in a bad place right now but the sooner you get out of it the better it is.I promise I'm gonna help you out. What was your mom's reaction, I mean was she happy with your thing?"

"Yes she is really supportive and is super proud about me. She never  wanted to interfere between I and dad.That would put her in a fix so she just stayed out of it.I really hate it when somebody checks upon me and my mom knows it.One fine evening she called me and said that she has no problem with whatever I do in my life as long as I stay truthful and honest in what I did.I followed that.I worked hard and stayed loyal to whoever girl I was dating.I never cheated on anyone and I was never really bad keeping aside the fact that the media potrays me in a different way.My mom knew  that her son would never cheat on anyone and I chose to get involved in other controversies because I  had a point to prove and I would not obviously keep my mouth shirt if people throw dirt on me.The industry is all fucked up and it works that way.I never really got along with my dad because he didn't trust me the way my mom trusted me.He believed whatever the media told him.I did get involved in drugs because as I said the industry is a fucked up place and you need something to get going even if it's temporary and artificial.I never had someone like you in my life who would hear me out t and whenever I screwed up real bad ,I would end up doing drugs."

"There is no fault of yours Stefan and you need to believe it.You are not gonna live with this guilt anymore.It will get more difficult to keep it with you with the passage of time.Trust me you gotta overcome that."

"Yeah.We should really sleep now",he said placing a peck on my forehead.

"You are going to be alright okay.Stop blaming yourself for everything that goes wrong",I locked my lips into his and hugged him closer.

"Thank you.I feel so relieved now.You know what you are like drugs,you make me feel so good",with this he locked his lips into mine again.

I never imagined that Stefan was hiding so much inside him.This guilt is huge to keep burried within oneself. I'm happy with the fact that he chose to open up and now he is at peace with whatever shit that was going inside his head for years.He was just a normal teenager living a successful life due to his own hardwork but the media chose to portray him differently that made his own father hate him.It's so awful and I can't imagine the amount of pain he had to endure to live with this guilt.