Undaunted

Nine

Monday, November 16, 2020

Waking up should be illegal, it feels like a hate crime.

I tried to get Bri to stay over for a bit yesterday but she said she had things to do and she left around 3, I tried to ask her what those things were but it was useless, she was out the door before I finished my sentence. I'll just ask later.

As I sat up I looked out the window. So many buildings, with so many windows, with so many people. So many tiny people, in tiny cars, on tiny corners. All living their own tiny lives, all the centers of their own tiny worlds, all of these people whose lives may never actually cross paths even though they're walking past one another; the world works in a funny way, sadly some way, somehow I ended up here.

I pushed the blanket off my legs, dragged myself off the bed, across the room, out the door, down the stairs and into the kitchen.

"Look who's up early." Fuck.

I looked over at the clock on the stove, 8:27. Fuck.

"I didn't even realize I'd woken up this early, thought you'd at least be at work by now."

"I leave at 9, there's coffee in the thing." He said not looking up from his phone and pointing at the coffee maker.

"Lovely." I mumbled as I walked past him; part of me wanted to pull my shorts down, I know they're short but then again why should I? It's not like he's looking. I thought to myself as I continued to walk past him and grabbed the coffee pot and off the counter. "Can you get that mug for me?" I asked when I opened the cupboard and saw the pastel blue mug all the way on top.

"Kas there's one right there, it's right in front of your face, use that one." He pointed to the plain white mug and it made me sad.

"I want the blue one, that one's boring." I turned and pouted at him hoping it was enough to get him to just do what I asked.

"Kas."

"Please?"

With a sigh he walked over to me and leaned over my head to reach for it. The warmth radiating off him and on to my barely clothed body. His chest so close to my face that I could see it rise and fall as he breathed. His tie still lying on either side of his neck undone. If I leaned forward, just a few inches, I could kiss right against his heart. It'd be a bad idea but, theoretically speaking, I could.

"I'm pretty sure this is Mica's." He dangled the mug off his pinky as he brought it down to my eye level .

"So the pretty, happy colored thing doesn't belong to you?" I asked, letting sarcasm coat my voice as thickley as I could. "Figures." I finished, taking the cup off his finger and turning back to the coffee pot to pour some out. "Give me the almond milk."

"What's that supposed to mean?" He asked. His voice playful, amused, bidding me to explain; daring me to explain. Something about the playfulness was unsettling, I couldn't detect any annoyance and that was worrisome to say the least.

"That I don't take my coffee black, can you give me the almond milk?" I replied, playing dumb like I always do, avoiding the question in an effort not to bicker this early.

"You know that's not what I meant. Answer the question and I'll give you the milk."

"Nevermind then." I started walking to the fridge and then he got in my way, standing right infront of the fridge, towering over me, stupid fucking jolly green giant. "If you're not gonna give it to me, I'll get it myself. Move."

"No, tell me or drink the black coffee."

"Matteo, move. I just want the milk." I tried to pull at his arm knowing it was useless but thinking maybe he'd feel bad that I'm too weak to even make him move and he'll just fuck off.