Loving the Fighter

91

Jax's POV

"Do you want to talk about yesterday?" Andrew said, his voice cheery as he gave me a look that said I didn't really have a choice.

"Not really," I admit as I play with the fidget toy in my hand.

"Patrick thinks it might be time to do something more about the nightmares. He wants me to talk to you about possible sleeping medicines."

"I don't want them."

"Jax, we can't go back to square one with this. We came too far for you to clam up now. We have talk about what happened one way or another, whether its about the slipping or nightmares is up to you."

I scowl as I thought.

Neither was really a good option. On one hand I would have to hope he believed my lie about why I was in the woods and that I was hitting myself. On the other, I would have to tell someone else about that nightmare without Ryder being here to help.

I was practically glued to the three of them yesterday. If anyone left, even if it was for a few minutes, I began to slip until they came back or someone else took their place. If that happened again when none of them were here, there's no telling what could end up happening.

"Slipping I guess," I say after a while. Maybe I would be able to fight off slipping until I got back to the cabin this way.

Andrew only nodded as he opened my folder.

"I'm going to ask you a few questions, please don't try to down play the answers. I need them to be precise."

"Is this a test or something?" Andrew didn't answer as he went to the first question.

"When you slip, do you feel like you are seeing everything through a veil of sorts? Or maybe everything just seems far away and you have no control over it?"

"Most of the time. Some times it's just like I blacked out and I wake up later though." Andrew only nods as he writes everything down.

"Do you find you can do some things better or worse when you slip?" I shrug a bit at that one.

"I fight better when I slip," I said, my mind going back to last night. If I could have forced myself to slip like normal I would have I could have taken all of them without a bruise.

"Have you ever had a flashback that feels so real you think it's happening again?"

"I don't like how I'm saying yes to all of these," I say making Andrew shoot me a sad smile.

"Have you ever not felt pain while you slip?"

"I usually don't feel myself get hit when I fight but after I get done for the night it feels more like a dull ache."

I wait for Andrew's next question but it doesn't come. I glance up at him to see he's already staring at me. A sad look crosses his face before he covers it up with a forced smile.

"So does that dumb look on your face mean that you know what's happening and how to stop it or what?"

"I have a good idea but before I say anything, I want to run this by a friend of mine first. I don't want to worry you with this before I know for sure." I can't help but glare at him a bit but I couldn't blame him.

"So what do we do then?"

"We'll you are my last session for the day so I'll head over to his office once we wrap up. I'll have a talk with him, we'll see what we can do, what we think about the answers, and things like that and by the time I leave we will either have a treatment plan or at the very least we'll have a possible explanation crossed off a very short list."

I nod, my hands going to play with each other under the desk.

"Hey," Andrew said to catch my attention. My hands stop fidgeting as I look back up at him. "Either way this is a good thing. Try not to worry about it too much."