The Bad Boys Exception

Chapter 73

Song - Bad Things Meiko
Status - Chapter song (and a good one at that)

EM POV:

🎶🎵🎶
"Look at me Emmy," Justin demands gently as he grabs my face in his hands and wipes away the tears that had fallen, "you are the most beautiful girl I have ever laid my eyes on, you're heart is so pure and you're intentions are nothing but good, I have never met anyone as amazing, strong, pure and so much more as you are. You don't deserve this, you deserve so much more, more than your father and definitely more than Aiden."

I look down at the bed, did Justin really think that highly of me? Did he really think that it was Aiden who didn't deserve me? Did he really think I was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen? The emotions almost drown me with their intensity, there was no way that someone felt as highly about me as Justin just made it sound. For once I actually felt worthy.

My emotions skyrocket as I notice Justin lean in, maybe I could kiss him, maybe I could fall back in love with him, maybe everything could be different. I wasn't sure if it was the excessive amount of alcohol I had consumed finally kicking in or if it was because my emotions were running so high and after my father texted and made me feel worthless, it was Justin who made me feel worth something, but when Justin's familiar lips touch mine, I don't push him away like every nerve in my body begs me to.

His lips were soft and gentle, they were kind, they were so familiar and maybe that's the reason that I found myself responding. Maybe it was the fact that I knew nothing would ever happen between Aiden and me and I wanted more than anything to be in love with the guy who thought so highly of me, who had loved me for so long and who had continued loving me, who I knew still loved me.

I want to blame the alcohol and the high emotions but when I let Justin hover over me and take off his shirt, I know that subconsciously, it's because my father had made me feel like nothing once again and I wanted nothing more than to feel wanted. Maybe sex with someone who wanted me was what would make me feel better about myself, I mean it seemed to work for Aiden.

I was a good girl but Justin and I had had sex before so maybe doing something so familiar was exactly what I needed. Justin was the only one who I had ever slept with, he had been the only one who had seen me in my most vulnerable and made me feel wanted in so many ways, maybe that's exactly what I needed

The song by Meiko fades into the background as Justin kisses my face, maybe what I was doing was bad but for once I wanted, needed to feel desired and wanted, Aiden didn't want me, my father didn't, and who better than to do that than with the guy who had loved me for years, who had been my first everything and who treated me with so much respect and gentleness it was astounding that I no longer felt anything for him.

I needed this, I would probably regret this in the future but right now all I wanted was to feel something, to feel anything, to feel worth something.

***

Justin and I had finished about 10 minutes ago and as soon as I thought about what just happened, I regretted it. I didn't regret doing it with Justin but what I regretted was knowing that it meant something different to him than it did to me. I thought that I wanted to feel desired, to feel wanted, but right now I just felt like shit. Justin lay beside me, talking about our future and I didn't know how to tell him that I didn't want it, it wasn't right. No matter what I did, I was still in love with Aiden, I had moved on from Justin, probably before I even broke up with him but I was very aware that he had never moved on from me. Justin just wasn't it for me anymore and I hated myself because Justin was the sweetest guy I had ever met, and he actually adored me, unlike Aiden who wanted me for my body.