The Soldier's Girl

Two Years Later

Two years.

Two years can do a lot to a person.

Especially a person who's been alive for almost 100. Just under 10 years ago my life was like a broken record. Day by day, month by month, that turned into years I would do what I did best.

I would use my abilities and skill to improve the world and work towards what I thought was the right cause. All it took was for a few more "superhero's" to make themselves known and the world I knew fell beneath me.

These past two years have been hard. Even with Steve by my side every step of the way. I thought it would be so much easier.

I stayed in Wakanda until Bucky came out of Cryo and Shuri started the next phase of his undoing. That's when Steve and I made the decision to move on. We didn't belong in Wakanda.

Of course I was so grateful to T'Challa for allowing us to stay and we held our weight and helped out in any way we could but the world still needed us.

Sam was on the run by himself and I wanted to keep a close eye on him. Nat had also run rouge when she learnt the accords weren't what she thought. The Avengers were scattered. The team officially broken up, we were just like any other old boy band completely forgotten about until the one hit on the radio got played once a year.

I wanted much more for Steve and I in the last two years. I had hoped things would calm down and we could settle down somewhere, way out in the country, maybe start a family but that didn't happen and it took a big toll on me, more than I thought. Considering I was worried about becoming a parent and now I almost feel the need for it. If anything I want it for Steve. He deserves to be a father, it's the least I could give him.

It's not like we weren't trying, it's just times were hard and things don't seem to be going the way we first thought.

We had hopped all over the place in the last two years. Not just all over the country but all over the world. We are currently in Wales, a small country in the United Kingdom. We were surrounded by fields and sheep, situated in a small village with a population of no more than 100.

I felt at peace here. I was in close contact with Shuri and T'Challa in Wakanda as well as Nat and Sam who were still in the United States. Wanda and Vision had escaped to the highlands of Scotland and had been there for a while and Tony...

He had apologised to me almost right away. I went to visit him during my time in Wakanda. We hashed everything out, laid out all our cards. It was hard.

I never thought he would hurt me. But it happened. Rage blinds people. You start dancing with the devil and that tune never seems to work it's way out of your head.

I forgave him though. I always do. He's like a son to me. We all make mistakes. He wasn't the bigger fight. We may not be on the best terms and act like how we used to but we were family, no matter how many times we tried to argue we weren't.

I was alone in our little cabin, washing up some dishes from last night that Steve and I were just too tired to even look at. We had still been working undercover for SHIELD and going on small missions here and there. It distracted me. Which was good.

I was too focused on the oven tray I was trying to scrub that I didn't hear the door open and close. I was scrubbing so hard I thought the paint may come off too.

I soon felt comforting arms wrap around me from behind and a soft kiss placed in the crook of my neck making me sigh and lean back in defeat.

Nothing was said for a while. I just enjoyed my husband's embrace.
"Are you ok?" He softly mumbled into my neck making the hairs on my back stand up.
"Yes." I lied.

I became almost like a robot these past few months. Sick of what SHIELD and the Avengers had become. I couldn't help but feel like it was all my fault and it was eating me alive. I knew Steve had an inkling to what was happening and he was itching for me to confess and tell him but that wasn't me. I never expressed my problems ever since I was a little girl.

I never put myself first or tried to fix my own problems until they became too much and I exploded. Everyone else had to be ok first and that was one of the only reasons I fail.

Steve sighs and turns me around in his arms, he picks my head up in his hands so I'm forced to look at him.

Steve's eyes never changed. They were still that bright ocean blue that held so much adventure and excitement. My once warm brown ones had become dull and broken. I just couldn't find motivation anymore.

"You're not." He simply said.
I shrugged not knowing what to say, looking down again and fiddling with a loose strand of his jacket.
"You have to talk to me Ali Cat. You can tell me anything, you know that." Steve sighed pulling me back into his chest.

"I know." I spoke quietly.

That was the end of the conversation. Steve knew not to push me. I guess he was waiting for another breakdown. I hadn't had one in three months so, I was doing a good job as far as I was concerned.

"How was the market?" I ask pulling away from his embrace and turning to dry up the washing up, passing it to Steve who put it away.

"It was good. Quite. I got everything we needed." Steve told me.

I nodded, noticing the two brown paper bags of groceries. There was a lovely farmers market in the middle of town we always bought from. We did really like this town. We made it our daily goal to get out of the house everyday and walk for a couple of hours together just to clear our minds and talk.

"You hear from Nat?" Steve asked.
"Yeah, nothing yet. Everything seems to be normal for now." I reply finishing up and putting the towel away.

He nods and I then help him put away the food he bought. After all my years with SHIELD and then the Avengers, money wasn't an issue. I had made sure I had it all in cash, which was difficult and risky but much less of a risk then using a card and getting tracked.

That night I laid in bed facing away from a soundlessly sleeping Steve and gazed at the rain happily falling down our window. The curtains were peaked open and moonlight shone down onto my figure. I listened to the sound of the storm from the comfort of my bed and literally thought about nothing. It actually felt a lot more calming having nothing on my mind than everything at once.

I picked at our bed sheet and breathed out slowly, accepting my defeat and turning over to hug Steve's sleeping figure close to mine.

This was my life for now and I just had to accept it. Little did I know that things were about change drastically just by tomorrow afternoon.