letter one

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Dear Park Jay,

It has been a week since I woked up to the nightmare of you leaving me for good. It has been a week since you died..

And what hurt the most, I can't even say a goodbye nor everyone else in your life. It was all so sudden, proving to us just how powerful the phrase of 'there is no always tommorow waiting for anyone'.

Everybody can't believe it. Especially me when you just called me early this morning to wake me up and say that your group is finally performing to Billboard with your sunbaes next week. You said sorry to me again for not being able to make time for me because of your packed schedules.

Me being me who has a bad night didn't even answer to make you feel guilty. And now I was the who's guilty for everything. I can't even stop crying in your funeral and I was there hiding among the crowd of your fans, still isn't allowed to be revealed as your girlfriend. It's fine, not really fine when I wasn't able to catch a glimpse of your face for the last time. I bet you're still handsome even in death.

You will always look so nice in everything.

I know you wouldn't want for me to be sad, but truth be told, I don't think I will ever be okay from now on. And do you know who called me this afternoon? Jungwon.

He's crying out his heart out to me for so long, I thought our conversation about you will never end. That boy misses you so much, Jay, so is everyone else.

Your mom hasn't spoken to anyone else and your dad is calling me everyday to ask me to visit her. I did and it hurted me to see her not wanting to leave your room. We even slept together there one night, just to see if you'll be there wishing there were such thing as ghost. But you're scared of them, so why would you want to be?

I can't believe I'm doing this. It looks so dumb and silly, but Heeseung told me it would help with the pain. I don't think it's working.

I miss you. I miss you so much that its still hurts.

Why did you have to die just because a sasaeng accidentally drove over yours in hopes of getting notice?

I wish she was one the dead, instead.

love, Y/N

Dear Park Jay ⚊ Letter Series #1Where stories live. Discover now