Lovesick - Seungmin

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You layed on your bed, eyes open and barely tired as you haven't been able to see your boyfriend in person for over a month now. He was busy practicing for his comeback and it went fine for a week without him near you, but once the Album released, he's only gotten busier. Performing stages, going on variety shows, attending interviews, and just so much more events to promote his new tracks has filled his schedule.

You weren't allowed to visit him, and if you did, he was too exhausted to keep up a conversation. It worried you to see him so sleepy all the time, but he promised you that he would take care of himself so you don't have to be worried.

Yet something just felt missing. There was just this empty feeling that wished he could spend some more time with you. Yes, you knew he was an idol with a career that wasn't like anything else, but you hated the lonesome days you had to go through. You loved him. You loved Kim Seungmin of Stray kids. And for some reason, all you could think of now was.... did he even love you back?

You've never doubted him before 'cause well, you never needed to. He gained enough of your trust for you to know that he wouldn't lie to you or keep any big secrets. You knew that. You knew that. But you were still scared if he lost feelings for you. What if he doesn't care about you anymore? He had so many other amazing things in his life, what difference did it make to keep you around?

While you're here missing him constantly, hoping he would get a break to finally come home and see you, he might be having fun with the members and fans as the thought of you wouldn't ever cross his mind.

It wasn't true. Over and over again, you told yourself that phrase to let it sink in. Did it work? Not one bit. Only he could confirm that by saying it to you directly, except he couldn't. Because he wasn't here.

"I miss you...." you whispered under your breath, covering your eyes with the back of your hand as you imagined he was going to walk through the front door any minute now.

Sadly, that was only your fantasy. Now some people may think you were dumb for getting this upset over a month without Seungmin's presence, but it felt like an eternity. Haven't you ever gotten that feeling of longing whenever the one you wanted by your side the most was gone? The way you counted the days until you were able to see them again? Or how everything would remind you of their comforting warmth? Just the mention of their name could get you excited? That was what you were experiencing.

The word used to describe this painful emotion was none other than.... lovesick.

You were deprived of your happiness and normality that it drove you insane. Okay fine, it wasn't that bad, but that doesn't mean it didn't hurt any less. Did he miss you just as much as you missed him? Probably not. He was never the type to be overdramatic over something so simple.

"Okat that's enough negative thoughts," you got off the mattress before deciding to just spend a night to yourself where you didn't have to worry about anything. "I can't keep overthinking everything. Seungmin loves me, and that won't change."

You exhale slowly and change into a more presentable outfit, grabbing your things for a short time at the night club. As long as you didn't interact with any boys than it would be fine, right? All you wanted was to drink and dance around for a few hours. No biggie.

After starting your car and heading over to the local joint near your place, you started to question if this was a good idea. It was already quite late since you've always had trouble sleeping nowadays. 11:13pm glowed from your phone screen and hesitantly, you turned it off and entered the dark venue filled with loud music and vibrant lights.

The bitter smell of alcohol reeked in the air, making you scrunch your nose. It wasn't like you loved to drink the sticky and poisonous substance, heck, you found it disgusting. But when it came to letting yourself go and forgetting any stress you had, it was a quick and easy solution.

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