All I Want | ✓

33 | overthinking

"You told her you love her?"

"Uh-huh."

"Then hung up?"

"Yup."

A pause, "Are you dumb?"

I scoff and roll my eyes before leaning back in my seat, "Apparently so."

The restaurant we chose to have lunch at was busy, people passing by to go to their seats or waiters dropping off food and taking orders. That, however, does not stop Ian from scolding me as I tell him what happened not even an hour ago.

The other boys are scattered around the room, taking up almost half of the space and I could just tell the owners were annoyed considering they have to feed an entire team of football players who would eat a house if they could.

"Well, do you love her?" He asks almost as an afterthought.

I don't even have to think about it when I nod in response, "Yeah, I love her, Ian. I've loved her for a while, I just always thought it was too soon to say anything about it. This just felt like... instinct."

"Instead, you tell her then hang up on her." He tilts his head in disbelief, "You shock me, man."

My head falls into my hands in shame. I'm so stupid.

"What happened?" Glancing up, I see that Ty has returned from the bathroom and before I can react, Ian takes the liberty of informing him in the nicest way possible.

"Case is a lil bitch who told Ana he loves her then hung up."

I send him a fake smile, "I appreciate all the kind words. Really." As I'm about to sip my water, my phone dings with Ana's customized message tone three times.

"Oh shit." I say in fear. I don't wanna check it.

Ian's eyes widen and Ty leans forward with intrigue, "Is that her?" They ask in unison.

"No, it's just the other girl I hung up on after telling her I love her." I say sarcastically. Ty doesn't seem to get it because his eyes widen even more, "Yes, it's Ana, dumbass."

I stare at the screen for a moment, as if I can see into the future and read what she sent without reading what she sent but life doesn't work that way.

I'm nervous. Shit. I allow a couple more seconds to pass before finally opening the message and reading it.

What's that supposed to mean? Am I even allowed to be disappointed because she didn't say it back? Should I text her back? What if she's mad at me? What if she doesn't love me?

All these thoughts are just pushing their way to the forefront of my mind and I can't put them back in their box.

And now I'm gonna be here overthinking about this.

Snatching the phone from my best friend's hands, my eyes widen in panic. The three messages glare back at me, "Cassidy Harper, why the hell would you send that to him?"

"We were both thinking it!" She says, flashing her hands to calm herself down. Matter of fact, why the hell is she freaking out?

"But that doesn't mean to send it!" I exclaim, now starting to pace along the floor of my room.

I took an hour to think about it.

An hour. I gave myself that time to calm down over the fact that my boyfriend just told me he loves me for the first time.

Only for Cassidy to turn around and text him as if she was me. Now he's going to be confused. Shit, I'm confused.

Do I love him?

Do I even know what love is supposed to feel like? Yes, I love my girls platonically — like members of a family love each other, but to be in love with someone?

I'm not sure what that feels like. Unless I do and just haven't been able to put a finger on it.

The constant butterflies in my belly, the way my heart pounds against my chest whenever I see him or even think about him, the joy he brings me, the way I always want to make him smile...

Cassidy takes my hands into hers with a proud smile on her face, "You're in love with him, aren't you?"

I need a minute.

Plopping myself down on the bed that I remade four times out of anxiety, I watch as Cass goes down to her knees in front of me, awaiting my response.

"Cass..." I sigh, words mulling around in my head as I try to get them out. "Isn't it too soon? We've only known each other for —"

"It doesn't matter how long you've known each other, Ana." She assures, "If you know you love him, don't waste time telling yourself you don't. Life is too short for all of that."

I sigh, trying to calm my racing heart, "What if I mess things up, Cass?"

Her thumb rubs against the back of my hand, soothing me significantly, "You won't. I know you, baby girl — when you love, you love with every piece of you. Don't be scared to show Case that side of you, Eliana."

I release a shaky exhale and nod, "Okay."

sigh, i can't wait till they start fucking, im already fantasizing 🥺🥺

also, sorry for not updating as much today and for such a short chapter - i had work early this morning then chores and stuff

ALSO ALSO idk how i feel ab this chapter yet