Loving the Fighter

99

Carter's POV

I lay on the floor of my bedroom in our inner world. I do nothing but lay there while staring at the celling.

I actually liked my room. It was pretty much an exact replica of Jax's room back in his dad's house, except with a good bed, less water damage, a window that actually kept heat in and cold out.

Okay so maybe it wasn't exactly like Jax's but it was close enough for me.

I had pretty much stayed here these past few days. Jax didn't seem to really need me so there wasn't a reason for me to be watching him as he lived his life.

I didn't really care though. If Jax didn't need me it meant things were finally good for him and that's all I wanted for him.

Right now Jax was in his session with Andrew so I decided to stay back here and keep quiet, just to give them a bit more privacy.

I was honestly kind of bored.

Andrew wants to have a session with you. Are you in or should I tell him to fuck off?

I'll be honest, I didn't really want to go but almost anything was better than sitting here for the next hour by myself.

Let me get to the couch. Give me a second.

I sigh to myself as I heave myself up off the floor. I walk down the straight hallway to get to the front room before settling myself into the couch.

All right I'm ready.

I don't have to fight Jax for control this time. He lets go and falls back easily, leaving the body empty for a second before I move up front.

Soon enough I'm staring at Andrew in his boring office. His usual smile still on his face.

I know you don't stick around for my sessions but is it cool if I'm here for yours? I don't want to leave this room yet.

I had told Jax a bit about our inner world a while ago but he didn't seem overly convinced that it was safe so he hadn't left the front room at all.

Yea that's fine.

My attention goes back to Andrew as I wait for him to say something.

"It's good to see you again."

"Wish I could say the same," I say with a small smile.

"Funny," he said shortly as he pulled out a new folder out from in his desk. I try and fail to bite back a smile when I see the folder has my name on it. Just my name. Some times it's the small things, like just having your name on something, that could make my day better.

"I wanted to talk to you a bit today about your younger life with Jax. I know you said you've always been with Jax but from what I hear from Jax, he had a pretty good childhood. What made you appear if he was that happy as a kid?"

"Jax was only happy because I took on the bad parts for him. At least, I did when we were younger. When he got older it was harder to take control when he was in trouble. It was almost like we were fighting each other in order to protect each other, even if Jax didn't realize that's what he was doing."

"When you say you took on the bad parts do you mean you took control or you took the memories of them?"

"Both. When I could I took over when the bad things happened but if Jax didn't let me I took the memories of it."

"That's interesting," he said as he wrote a few things down in my folder. "It seems you are a trauma holder as well as a protector."

"Is that bad?"