The night comes together with the arrival of my father. The whole time ever since that talk, I didn't get off the blanket that wrapped all over my body.
"It's time to eat your dinner and your medicine". That's my father's voice.
I still haven't moved to my bed.
"Lliana-". Jeonghoon called me with authorization in his voice.
I pushed the blanket and slowly got up. I pulled the table towards me, he put down the food.
"Don't forget to drink your medicine. I will be back as soon as I can but probably I will be back tomorrow morning". Jeonghoon said while putting all of his things into his bag.
"I will see you tomorrow". He bid goodbye.
"Get some sleep, Jeonghoon. I will take care of her". Dad said, earning a nod and hummed as an answer from him.
Once Jeonghoon had already left, I slowly started eating my dinner. When I finished, the nurse came to my room to hand me the medicine.
"Can I get a wheelchair?". I asked her when I finished the last liquid medicine.
"Of course! I will get you one". She walked out and get wheelchair.
"Where do you want to go?". He got up from the couch and went to my bed.
"In the garden". I simply replied.
"That's good! I will take you there-"
"No, I'm fine. The nurse can take me there. You can sleep here". I said and slowly got off the bed and slid my slippers.
Just then the door opened revealing the nurse with the wheelchair in front of her. I carefully walked towards and seated comfortably.
"Where do you want to go?". The nurse asked.
"In the garden". I said again in excitement.
"I will take her, Nurse, don't worry". My excitement went down when he appeared and got the wheelchair to the nurse.
I gave up and just let him do what he wanted. We take the elevator and go down to the garden. Once we leave the building, the smell of the river welcomes us. The sound of it brings so much comfort to me.
"When you're still a kid, you always love seeing water, be it river, sea, lake, ocean, or strait bay. You always said to your mother that you love the peace that brings it to you". I stayed silent, I didn't know that it's cold.
"You're just like me, we both love any type of waterform. I just remembered that time when you wished to have a private beach even if it's just a small land as long as there's an ocean that brings you comfort". I remembered that one, that is when I was 5 I think. I still don't know what I was saying.
"Your brother told me that you were in the middle of debate when you collapsed. But the fact that you have the courage to say the last words in front of other people, especially in front of your professor, makes me proud. You are a gifted child". He sounds so lightweight, I just let him talk while he keeps on pushing the wheelchair.
"All of the intelligence you have is from your Mom, she's the one who wants you to be a lawyer. She's so kind to the point that she doesn't want less fortunate people to get abused by the entitled wealthy people. I love that trait of her". I didn't notice the smile that keeps on growing in my mouth.
"I'm sure she's very proud of you for seeing how you face people with bravery. She is probably shouting to other angels in heaven and keeps on shouting that you are her daughter". I feel warm water drop on my wrist on top of my leg.
"Do you think so?". I sniffled.
"I'm really sure. She's beyond proud of you. Maybe not on what you are doing to yourself-". I stop from wiping and put my head up.
"You are abusing your body, you're not taking care of yourself. Look what happened". He stopped pushing and bent down in front of me.
"Then, why did you leave me?". I looked like a child asking the parent who left the child at home while they went to the mall without the kid.
"Why did you let me live like this?". Tears can't stop running down.
"Why did you let Jeonghoon and I live on our own and find yourself other people?". There's too many why's running through my head.
"Are we not enough for you?". I looked down to avoid his eyes.
"I made mistakes, I focused on myself that I forgot I have children that you two need me but it's too late. Your Auntie is already carrying Izzy". He said and caressed my hands.
"I'm too selfish, I know that. I'm doing my best to be the father you two will have. I keep catching the two of you but you keep on running away from me. I can't blame you but give me another chance to be your father". I got my hand and wiped my cheeks.
"It's cold, let's just go back to my room". I said and looked up to see the river again.
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