Seduced by Natasha Romanoff

Nightmares

Romanoff told me we didn't have much longer left in France, she said she might have another lead but wasn't sure yet where it would take us. Honestly I didn't really know what we'd done so far that was productive but I just nodded and waited until she gave me some more instructions. She was the boss, a weird boss at that- I thought my first proper mission would have been a lot more full on especially if I was partnered with The Black Widow. I began to wonder if this was some really really weird character test, a crazy test of patience.

I decided to have an early night, I was so tired plus Natasha was intense and kind of confusing. She asked me so many questions about myself, sometimes stuff I knew was already in my files but other questions were more personal, about my hopes and dreams, thankfully not my fears.  I kept thinking she was hitting on me but then the self doubt would creep in and I wondered if she actually was just teasing me half the time for her own amusement. I wouldn't be surprised if she liked to watch me squirm under that intense green gaze of hers. Maybe she was just bored, we didn't really have much else to do than talk to each other. I don't know but either way I couldn't deal with anymore interrogations from Nat so I headed to bed.

I've always had nightmares, but normally I can keep most of them under control and I'd been making sure to avoid any flare ups when anyone could hear me. The worst time ever would have been on this mission with Natasha but, unfortunately my past haunts me and as much as I try to block it out,  it doesn't always work. I did my usual meditation when I went to bed but for whatever reason it didn't work.

Shadowy figures lingered in my dreams as fire burnt around them, I ran and I ran until my lungs began to burn. It felt like the flames were licking at my throat. I knew I couldn't out run the fire or the shadow men. I knew they'd catch me at any moment, I could give up the sooner they caught me the sooner it would be over but I wouldn't let myself stop. I would never give up, I felt the claws grabbing at my ankles they were like whispers of pain reaching out for me. I kept running but I began to slow down, not by choice the claws were pulling me back. I knew it was a dream and the worst part was coming. Claws wrapped round my throat I began to choke and scream...I knew it wouldn't help but it was all I could do....

"Hey...hey....shhhh....agent...you're dreaming, I've got you I've got you...." her voice broke into my nightmare. The claws released me and the fire was extinguished- I wasn't sure how she'd saved me normally I wouldn't wake up until the horrors that tormented me were over but somehow she was there. Her strong arms were wrapped around me and my whole body was quaking, I was covered in a cold sweat and my lungs weren't working. I couldn't catch my breath every bit of air I tried to suck in felt like it was burning my throat I must have really been screaming for it to hurt this much, I felt hot with embarrassment as tears spilled from my eyes.

"Natasha" I croaked, "I'm so sorry I woke you" I couldn't stop crying but i needed to apologise, I buried my face into her neck and held onto her as tight as I could. She gently rocked me back and forth whispering to me, calming me down.
"Shhh it's okay you don't need to apologise to me...I've got you now" she stroked my hair gently as we lay together on my bed, I felt so safe in her arms.
I sniffled, I felt stupid. I was trying to impress her not have to be rescued by her, "nightmares" I murmured weakly obviously I'd had a nightmare I rolled my eyes at myself, I wanted to tell her more but the words were lost in my throat. I felt her press her lips gently against my skin as she kissed my forehead as she continued to soothe me until my breathing returned to normal. My body seemed to betray me, I wanted to be calm but I was still shivering.

Eventually I took a deep shaky breath, I looked up to her and her eyes were shut. I couldn't tell if she was asleep but, if she was I didn't want to disturb her again. I curled into her warm body and closed my eyes letting a dreamless sleep wash over me.

I woke up tangled in Romanoff's arms, I didn't want to move and ruin the moment. I hadn't felt that safe in years, I didn't know if I'd ever get to feel like this again so I just didn't move. I just listened to her breathing as I cuddled into her. She quietly began to stroke my hair again, I knew she was awake but I wanted to stay where I was a little longer. I lay there quietly as she continued to play with my hair.
"I wonder what it is that haunts your dreams" she seemed to be whispering to herself rather than talking to me, "I'll keep you safe from those demons if you'd let me" her words were no louder than a breath. I don't think I was meant to hear them. I waited a little longer before I shifted a little bit.

I looked up into her green eyes, I still felt like my eyes were puffy from crying.
"Hi" I murmured, not sure where to extract myself from her arms or just to stay where we were. I figured she'd take the lead and probably shove me off now I was awake and nightmare free.
"Hi," she smiled back at me "you doing okay?" There was a genuine concern in her eyes. I nodded quietly.
"Uh huh" was all I could manage.
"Do they happen often?" She asked letting her hand trace down my arm. I felt a shiver run through my body as her skin brushed against mine.
"Yeah...well no...I mean they used to but I keep them under control now...well until last night I did...I'm sorry I woke up you Natasha"  I wasn't sorry that I'd spent all night wrapped in her arms.

"I'll let you off this time" she half smiled, "but next time you interrupt my sleep you'll have to make it up to me" she winked and let her lips brush my forehead again. I couldn't resist...I lifted my chin higher until my lips were within touching distance of hers. I hesitated, I wanted to kiss her but my brain was swarming with thoughts- what if I was wrong and she rejected me, what if this damaged my reputation forever, what if she laughed in my face. My lips were hovering over hers, we both seemed to be holding our breath, it felt as if the whole world was waiting.

My job was to be brave, I needed to just do it! I wouldn't hesitate this much about jumping out of a plane, what was one kiss? I shook the thoughts from my head and let me lips meet hers. They were so soft, her mouth moved with mine as we kissed softly. I pulled away from her for a few seconds to see the smile reaching her eyes and our mouths met again. This time with more confidence, I felt her tongue push my lips apart as if moved into my mouth. I moaned quietly, as her hand wrapped around the back of my back pulling me closer. I whimpered slightly into her mouth, I didn't realise how much I wanted this, wanted her. She broke off the kiss with a smirk.

"Took you long enough Agent" she kissed me quickly, "come on, let's get breakfast!"