resist the siren's call

39

"Perhaps one day we will meet again as characters in a different story, maybe we'll share a lifetime then."

I hung the dresses I'd been wearing in the wardrobe bolted to the wall.

I was wearing a very simple two piece made of white fabric, as we were only an hour from where I could find my way home.

A bittersweet feeling had plagued me since last night. I'd made a realisation I wish I hadn't, and now I was paying for not killing him like I should've.

All this time I'd been thinking of how unrealistic and unfathomable loving a human was. But here I was.

I went over to the bed and sat, making the mattress sink a little.

A light knock sounded on my door. I wiped a tear forming in my left eye before standing. I cleared my throat before saying, "Come in."

Olly slowly opened the door and made sure to wear a wide smile as he poked his head in, "Is there anything you need Astrid?"

I gave a small smile, "I don't think so. Thank you Olly."

He nodded his head before pulling away and shutting the door.

I turned to sit back down, but then an idea popped into my mind. I turned quickly, "Olly, wait."

He pushed the door open, "Yes?"

"Would you mind getting me a pen and parchment?"

He nodded and quickly shut the door. I walked to the door and followed him out, "If you're back before I am, just leave everything on the bed." I said as I passed him, rushing up the steps.

I ran across the deck before jumping into the water. I swam all the way down to the bottom, occasionally looking up making sure not to loose track of the boat. I ran my hand through the sand along the bottom of the sea floor before I found what I was looking for: A shell.

I wrapped my fingers around the shell, encasing it firmly in my hand.

I swam quickly up to the top and climbed the ladder in record time. Water spilled off of me as I walked across the deck, down the steps, and back to my room.

Olly had already delivered the pen and parchment, so I sat on the floor and started writing.

Dear Caspian,

If someone had told me a few months ago that I would be writing this letter, the past me would have laughed thinking it was a jest.

But here I am, being to afraid to just face you with how I feel, so I'll start there.

Feelings. Human feelings that I've never felt in such a large amount until this moment.

The truth is, when we first met my plan was to trick you into trusting me so I could kill you and have your body as a trophy. Just thinking about how a siren like me could take down a prince. So I let you "capture" me, and that was my mistake.

I was expecting a stupid, dishonorable, bad mannered human male. Instead I found myself enjoying the company of a charming, brave, respectful human man. How foolish of me to think you would be anything else.

I know how you feel, last night made it clear to me. The truth is, the only thing I have to worry about up here is keeping myself away from you.

But Caspian, I can't love you the way you want me too. I'm incapable of being the kind of woman you need. You need a gentle, kind, human woman. Someone who can help you rule your kingdom the way they deserve to be ruled.

I'm sorry I'm too cowardly to face you in person, but if I'm being honest if I saw you again I don't think I could leave.

- Astrid

I rolled the parchment up into a tube, and tied it shut with a small stretch of ribbon Calliste had given me to use in my hair.

I slid the shell gently into the roll of parchment, and placed it on my bed.

I penned a second letter to Olly, thanking him for being so kind to me during the voyages.

I walked out into the hallway and up the deck with both letters in my hands. I searched for a total of ten minutes before I found Olly tying a bit of rope up. When he finished I extended the letters to him.

He furrowed his brows before gently taking them, "What is this?"

I pointed to the one with the ribbon, "Will you deliver this one to Caspian after I'm gone?" I smiled and pointed to the other one, "And you can read this one after I'm gone."

Olly frowned, "You wrote me a letter?"

I smiled and blinked back liquid building in my lower eyelid, "Yeah, I did."

I turned on my heel and walked quickly back to my room. Letting out a shakey breath before pacing around.

The wood beneath my bare feet was still damp from when I'd written the letters and it made a slight lapping noise as I walked from one side of the room to the other.

The minutes passed by slower than a jellyfish. After what felt like hours, but was surely only ten minutes, I turned to my door and walked out.

The hallway was completely empty of people when I poked my head out. I slowly walked out and shut my door behind me.

My feet silently tapped the wood as I crept down the hall, and I slowly walked up the stairs avoiding the places I knew made creaking noises.

I stayed near the wall of the ship as the sky was painted an array of colors from purple to yellow as the sun disappeared in the distance.

The crew members still on deck payed me no mind as they wound down operations for the night.

I slowly climbed on the railing and ducked behind it before I jumped into the water, letting the salty liquid mask the tears running down my cheeks.