Forever With You ~ Tubbo x Reader

~Chapter Thirty Eight~

a/n you know how every chapter either starts and ends with - or ~, right? every single time, i have to check if I'm doing it in the right pattern or not lol

warning: this chapter kind of sucks! (it may not seem like it to you guys but i just *throws up*)

may 14

I messed around on the smp, while listening to Lovejoy's ep on loop. Honestly, it was probably one of my favorite pieces of music. It was amazing.

I re-watched the One Day and Taunt music videos again, laughing at George being in Taunt. That's where he went with Wilbur. And it has turned out amazing.

I hummed along to Sex Sells while mining around. I wasn't live, but it was nice to just play and do nothing at all. I didn't have to talk to anyone, I didn't have to try and be entertaining. I could just sit alone and play minecraft, and it felt nice.

Also, the fact that I had a Love or Host to go on tomorrow. Yeah, I was trying to distract myself from that.

I looked over my DM's with Austin again.

Messages: To: AustinShow

Me: hey man

Me: I applied

Me: and am here to confirm my choice between love and host

AustinShow: okay, whats you're choice?

Me: well, content wise, i would like to pick host

AustinShow: so host?

Me: but honestly, I want to pick love.

AustinShow: oh.

AustinShow: so that's how it is?

Me: ????

Me: what

AustinShow: What is you're final decision?

Me: ...

Me: host.

Me: FUCK NO

Me: FINAL. DECISION. is Love.

AustinShow: thanks, see you on the show.

AustinShow: good luck

Me: i fucking hope so

I had been stuck between the two options, which should have been a simple choice, right? But I couldn't decide if I wanted to go after my true feelings, or to go after content.

Tommy and Ranboo had both said to go with what my heart desired, but I was still hesitant.

I continued playing minecraft until late into the night. I listened to the Lovejoy ep one last time before going to sleep.

a/n i'm putting off writing this chapter because holy muffins is it a big one, i have so much planned and i want it to go just right

I woke up, not realizing why I felt so excited and also nervous. Then I remembered, that there was a love or host today.

That I was on. Holy fuck, that is terrifying.

I spent most of the day preparing, going over lines, and knowing what to say. If I got called on, because I probably would, I couldn't panic and just go blank, like I always do. I also brought up a bunch of snacks.

I brushed my hair, and then put on some pajamas. I put my Coca-Cola hoodie on top. I looked at myself in the mirror. Yes, I did look like a homeless person, but it was fine.