Intrepid » n.h. au

Chapter 40

I hear the front door in the hallway open and close, even over the sound of the water running from the sink, but I don't react to it. I continue doing the dishes even when I hear a person walking in, and sighing, trying to make their presence known. I do turn around, though, when I hear something presumably heavy being dropped onto the table; before I can help my instincts, I'm face to face with Freya, standing next to the small dining table, two boxes in plastic bags on it.

I sigh inaudibly before speaking up, "Hi." Without waiting for a reply I turn around, wanting to find more glasses or cutlery or anything that would excuse me from talking to her, but I just end up turning the water off. I have a habit of cleaning around when I'm angry. I'd be a good husband to women who like getting on people's nerves, like the one standing behind me.

"Hi," She replies meekly, and when I look at her again, leaning against the edge of the sink, she's still standing in the same spot and just looking at me. Looking at any part of my body except my eyes, that is.

"Where were you?" I ask calmly. It's not that I'd missed her or wanted to be with her or anything, especially after last night. But I have to admit I was a little pissed when I woke up alone this morning; I'm the one that should get to leave now. She's done the damage, it's my turn to get a break. I know it sounds childish, but it's the only thing that could make any of this bearable.

"Um... I was..." She trails off, cautiously pulling the plastic bags off of the boxes she'd brought. I keep furrowing my brows harder, as she doesn't exactly look like she knows what to do. It's like there's a hint she'd like me to pick up on.

"Could you..." Freya begins, bringing her sleeve-covered hand to her lips as I look at her, "Tell me which one you like more?"

With eyebrows as furrowed as they could possibly get, I slowly walk over to the table to see what she's talking about; sure enough, the two boxes are holding sets of plates in different sizes. Dinnerware. One has regular, round plates with pastel flower crowns painted along the edges, and the other one has plates that are completely white, but with wavy edges.

"I couldn't decide because I liked both sets, so I asked to bring them home so you'd choose." Well, I'm not gonna lie. I'd probably be indecisive between these two too.

Despite the thoughtful and even sweet gesture, I don't feel like I can respond with anything but a shrug at the information. She's trying to make things better, that much is obvious, but I can't keep giving in to these things. It's as if I cheated on her and then bought her jewelry in hopes to make her forget about it.

"I don't care," I mumble, after inspecting both items for a few seconds, "Whichever one's cheaper."

"Niall," Freya sighs, as I begin walking away, "Come on, I- I'm- you have to be patient with me."

And here I thought there's nothing she could have said that would keep me from leaving the room. "If you're implying that I've been anything but patient with you-"

"No, I know, but-" She stops all of a sudden, sighing louder this time, her hands in her hair. I'm just standing here, leaned against the couch, watching her, wondering if she's ever going to get sick of coming up with excuses. I'd be exhausted by now.

"I-I can't make progress every day. It's a process. And some days are going to be good, others are gonna be bad. Bad days are the ones where I think too much, I overthink everything, and I feel like the world is going to end if I don't do something drastic, and yesterday was a bad day. It was a bad day. And it-it probably wasn't the last bad day I'm going to have. And I need you to be patient with me."

By the end of her jumbled speech she's gripping the backrest of one of the chairs, facing the floor, her hair blocking out her face. I don't have to guess that she's near crying. "I don't mind if you don't make progress for a while," I speak up, quietly, still in my spot at the couch. "You can stay in place for as long as you'd like, but I don't want you to go backwards. And what you did yesterday, that was going backwards."