Hello, if you are rearing this, then I am definitely dead.
Not that that's important, the only reason you are reading this is because you, my fellow reader, are curious about me, aren't you?
Or if you are just one of my friends who found this while looking through my belongings: Hi there.
For starters, my name is Y/n L/n, chosen codename is Sathariel. Heh, I still vividly recall where my codename comes from, it was during my fifth birthday when a lady in red visited me. She sneaked up to me whole no one was looking and handed me a book with the same name as my codename.
Normally I wouldn't accept gifts from a stranger, but she gave me a lot of money so I willingly took it.
The book overall was okay, a collection of anecdotes told by four soldiers stationed in a fort located in the opposing country. The four soldiers were: A deaf librarian, a PTSD-stricken sniper, a teenage edgelord made into a soldier as punishment, and a recovering drug abuser.
Though the timeline between each anecdote is very mind-boggling, I would recommend this to anyone over the age of 18, as the story covers dark themes like suicides, slavery, a lot of violence, torture, and a chapter dedicated to a slightly erotic scene between two of the characters.
As someone who read this at five years old, it is safe to say I enjoyed and at the same time traumatized by this story. And to those who would read this to their children, just skip chapters 1, 2, 9, 10, 15, and 29.
Where was I again? Ah, right. Introduction about myself. As of now, I am seventeen years old and counting, my birthday is the 29th of January. I like reading, my mother's homemade cheese and milk, and chocolate. On the other hand, I hate Pythias, not the race itself, but just the thought of their long scaly tails wrapping around my body terrifies me to the bone.
Anyway, my current occupation is a soldier-in-training for the Lateranan Military. I hated it at first since my friends peer pressured me into applying, even so, I enjoyed my time, I even got third place in gun handling.
Now, if have not been living in a rock, then you must know about the Operation that I have applied for: To escort a person of interest to the Abyssal Region, from what I heard, the person of interest was some Noble girl sent to the Abyssal Region so she could be wed to a high-ranking official there. Y'know? To strengthen the bonds between two powerful countries.
Honestly, I feel bad for the girl, must have been sad knowing your whole life was another bargaining chip for political purposes. Just another slave in expensive clothing.
Another reason why this is a big operation is because of the risks that came with it. Recently there's been a group, a group of people who worships Originium, praying and worshipping it like its god, even to the point of spilling blood, our race's blood to be exact. The survivors always mention that they are strong, skilled in combat and casts unusual Arts no one has seen before.
Everyone says it's a suicide mission, but I honestly don't care. For my whole life, everything I've ever done was for the sole reason to please others, and I hated myself for that. I don't want to die like that, not as someone who can't choose a path without the help of his friends or family. I want to go down as someone who did something out of his own volition.
I don't know why I'm writing this. Maybe as my will or to just calm my nerves, my heart is pounding hard and there are only 30 minutes before I have to go.
I'm scared, yet I'm smiling as I write this, is this what it feels like to live? Or is this a natural response to an impending death?
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