Chapter 34

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“Are you sure about this, Tori?” My mother asked for the fourth time.

“Yes mom, I need to do this. If anyone needs me urgently, you know where I’ll be.” I replied.

“Are you sure you don’t want one of us to come with you?” She asked again. I groaned.

“I’m sure. This is something Tommy and I need to do.” She nodded and let me climb in the car. I watched as she peered through the window and waved to Tommy who clamped his hand together in an attempt to wave. He was still learning.

I waved goodbye to my parents, who both stood solemnly in the driveway, and then drove away. Today was Maggie’s twenty third birthday; also the first birthday of many that she will never see.  I had spoken with Maggie’s parents who had finally agreed to let me celebrate on my own. Their original plan was to spend the day together but, as much as I loved them for wanting to include me, I just couldn't.

There was only one place I wanted to be today.

After a twenty five minute drive I parked my car in the designated parking spot. I knew exactly where to go, it wasn’t the first time I had been there. I carried Tommy on my hip as I made the long walk towards Maggie’s tombstone. The air was warm and calm making it the perfect day to celebrate the life of my soul mate.

I soon found the tombstone and kneeled before it on the grass. I had helped choose it only months earlier. I looked at the stone which was made up of a dark intricate design of marble which outlined her information and listed her as: A soul never to be forgotten, only cherished. Her birth date and date of death were engraved just below her name. I ran my fingers along the indentation of the second last line which read:

Remembered by her son, Tommy and her sister Tori.

When it came down to it, she was always and would always be my sister. I held Tommy by his waist as he stood before the tombstone of his mothers’ grave. He stood on the dead grass and hit the tombstone softly with his sticky hands. He had a smile on his face and I laughed. I pulled him onto my lap so that we could both look at the grave. “Look here Tommy,” I said and pointed to the name on the tombstone. “This is your mommy. Her name was Maggie Becket and she was the most remarkable person you would ever meet. She had naturally blonde hair just like yours.” I ruffled his hair and he tried to do the same to me. “She loved you a lot Tommy. I wish you could have known her.” Tears gathered in my eyes and I let them fall for the last time.

After today I was done crying over her death. I was going to start focusing on all the great times we had instead of the ones we missed out on. Tommy quickly grew restless in my lap so I moved him off and to the side. I let him play in the grass while I prepared to say my goodbyes.

“I miss you Maggie. Every single day.” I touched her name and sniffled. “You were my family when I never felt like I had my own. I was always enough for you and though you were never enough for me, you never complained. You understood me even when I didn’t understand myself. You knew how much I needed Tommy before I did. If it weren’t for Tommy, I wouldn’t finally have the family I had always wished to have. Things are better between me and my parents and I’m even starting to get closer to my siblings. I have you to thank and no, I’m not thankful that you’re gone. You know I would trade your life for my family any day.” I sighed and rubbed my eyes dry so I could see the tombstone.

“I guess what I’m trying to say is thank you and happy birthday Maggs.” I kissed my fingertips and then placed them on the cold marble. “I love you.” I whispered. I rested my head against the tombstone and sat quietly crying. After a few minutes I realised I couldn’t hear Tommy anymore. I panicked and looked around. I couldn’t see him. I stood up and looked behind me and screamed.

Kevin stood about a metre away from me with a content Tommy in his arms. “Kevin,” I breathed once my heart rate had slowed back to normal. I blinked and started walking towards him the same time he did. We met halfway and I stood silently before him in shock. “You’re here.” I said after a few seconds of awkward silence had passed.

He grinned, “you were right about it all Tori. You deserved an answer and I needed to make up my mind.” He stepped closer until Tommy’s body hit mine. “I choose you. I choose us, Tori. I want to give us a chance because these past two months have been more real to me than five years with Chelsea. I don’t care if I broke a promise but what I will assure you is that I promise to fight this through. I’m not running away anymore. I want all of you. Tommy included.” He winked and I cried. He wiped my tears away with his thumb and held my face in the palm of his free hand. He leaned in and brushed my lips with a whisper of a kiss.

“I love you Tori Carradale,” he whispered against my lips and I smiled.

“I love you Kevin Smith.” He grinned and closed the gap between us until our lips were smashed together. I wrapped my arms around his waist and pulled him closer. Kissing him felt magical and right. Kissing Kevin felt like home.

With Kevin in my arms and Tommy squeeling happily, I sighed wistfully. Now my family was complete.

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