The Scarlett Soldier

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[Trigger Warning] mentions of anxiety and panic attacks

"I lost... Everyone. And so will you." Zemo turned to his side and flicked a switch, making a computer next to Steve light up with white, German letters that read '16 Декабрь 1991'

"An empire toppled by its enemies can rise again. But one which crumbles from within, that's dead. Forever."

The rest of us started walking closer to the screen which was now showing camera footage of a dark road.

"I know that road." Tony said, "What is this!" We continued to watch the recording. A beige car crashed into the side of a tree and the engine began to light on fire while a motorcycle ridden by a man with a metal arm pulled up behind it.

Bucky

He walked towards the car and opened the trunk, examining the things inside it. The driver stumbled out of the car, his face all bloody.

"Help my wife," The driver said, "Please. Help."

Then Bucky... no... not Bucky... The Winter Soldier grabbed the man by his hair and lifted it back. It was Howard Stark, Tony's dad.

"Sergeant Barnes?"

"Howard!" The lady in the passenger seat called. I assumed her to be Maria Stark, Tony's mom. Tony looked up to Bucky with an expression of disbelief and disgust. He looked back to the screen where The Winter Soldier began hitting Howard's face with his metal hand until he collapsed to the ground, dead. Maria kept calling Howards name and gasped at the sight of her husbands dead body being put back into the drivers seat and his head rested on the steering wheel.

I placed my hand over my mouth. I witnessed many deaths before. Most of them by my own hands, but this one... this was Tony's parents. Bucky... no... the Winter Soldier did this.

He walked to the other side of the car and wrapped his hand around the neck of Maria until she was also dead. When he had finished killing his targets he walked up to the camera and shot it. The screen went dark. The room went silent. The only thing I could here was Tony's angry breathing. Tony sprung himself towards Bucky, but Steve held him back.

"Tony, no. Tony." Steve said, holding Tony's arm tightly.

"Did you know?"

"I didn't know it was him."

"Don't lie to me, Rogers. Did you know?"

"Yes." Steve admitted and Tony pushed away in disgust. I can't fathom the amount of betrayal or guilt or sadness Tony could be feeling right now. It was awful. Rage and Anger filled his body as his helmet closed over his head and he hit Steve, knocking him backwards. I lifted my gun for defence but he shot it away with one of his hand repulsors, making me fly backwards. Bucky swung at Tony but his hand was caught and swatted away. He grabbed Bucky's throat and flew with him across the room, throwing him to the ground and holding back Bucky's metal arm with his foot.

Then Steve threw his shield at Tony's head. I got up and ran over to the three of them. Steve charged at him, knocking him backwards while I helped Bucky up to his feet. The tin can man flew back over to Steve, making him hit one of the cryo chambers and Tony shot something at his feet, restraining them together.

"Get out of here Scarlett!" Bucky yelled, throwing punches at Tony. He grabbed Bucky by the throat again and flew him into a wall. He grunted at the impact while Tony lifted up his hand to shoot him but Bucky was stronger than a man wearing metal. He gripped his repulsor tight.

"Scarlett!!! Go now!" He yelled again, squeezing Tony's repulsor tight, making it break.

I didn't want to go. I didn't want to leave them fighting Tony. I wanted to help. But what help could I offer, I'd most likely just get in the way or get hurt. So I ran back the way we came, through the dark hallways. I passed the elevator, knowing I could get back to the quin jet faster on the stairs. I kept running even though my legs felt like jelly and my lungs felt like they were on fire.

(Quick Author's note. So this is where the Anxiety part comes in. If your triggered by that kinda stuff you can skip the rest of this chapter, I'll give a brief summary of it in the next chapter so your not missing anything.)

I stopped when I finally made it outside. The cold air whipped through my hair. I bent over to catch my breath and to process what had just happened.

Help my wife. Please, help.

Sergeant Barnes?

Howard!

Howard!

I winced at the thoughts that filled my head. They were loud. Really loud.

Did you know?

I didn't know it was him.

Don't lie to me, Rogers. Did you know?

Yes.

"Stop, stop, stop." I pleaded, hoping that it would make the noises in my head calm down, but they didn't stop. They kept going. I noticed my breathing becoming quicker and deeper. I clutched the neck of my vest while tears spilled out of my eyes.

"Stop, Soldier don't cry Scarlett. Soldiers don't cry."

But I did cry. I cried in the cold snow outside of an abandoned Hydra base where I was trained and tortured for a month.

I've had anxiety attacks like this before, but they never last this long. Usually I have Will to calm me down, but he wasn't here. I dont' know where he is and I don't know if he is okay.

I cry for Will. And I cry for Steve and Bucky. And I also cry for Tony. They were my friends, some better than others, but still. I cried and cried and cried until I couldn't anymore. I stayed kneeling in the cold snow despite the fact that I was freezing. It didn't seem to matter. I stared at the white snow and listened to the air whistling against my freezing face. Everything was quiet until...