Mapleshade's Forgiveness

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Pain ripped through her body like fire as the apprentice's teeth found her throat.

No! NO! My kits... Is he dead? Is the traitor dead?

Her bloodshot eyes snapped open. At her paws lay a dusky brown tom, his green eyes glazed. Appledusk was dead. Reedshine would have to raise her kits alone, would have to know the grief of losing that which you love the most- finally. Chest heaving, Mapleshade burst into raucous laughter, blood pouring from her throat like a crimson waterfall. She turned her back on the bloody scene, dragging herself away from the RiverClan cats who grieved before the body of a traitor.

She clawed herself forward, pawstep by grueling pawstep, until a voice broke into her hazy thoughts.

"You!” cried the voice. “Do you remember me? I’m Myler- we... er, met once before.” Mapleshade felt his nose press against her flank, but her body wouldn't let her pull away. “You’re hurt bad,” mewed the small tom. "Poor thing. Here, let’s get you inside." There was a rustling beside her as the loner began to dab at her fur with a scrap of damp moss. Mapleshade half-opened one eye and saw blood pouring from her throat, pooling beneath her in a great scarlet lake.

“There’s so much,” Myler mewed shakily. His dabbing of the moss became more frantic. “Did a Clan cat do this to you?” Mapleshade closed her eyes, nodding weakly. The little tom sighed. "You should have left while you had the chance." Mapleshade twitched slightly, curling her lip.

Leave? How could I leave? I swore to avenge the deaths of my kits, and that’s what I did. I wish that I could take Reedshine's kits from her. He lives on through them- my vengeance will never truly be fulfilled.

Myler curled up beside her, flinching slightly as he pressed against her bloodied form. “I’ll stay with you,” he promised. “You’re safe.”
Mapleshade shivered. She wanted to push him away, to snap at him, but his warmth engulfed her.

"Thank you," she whispered. Myler buried himself in her thick pelt, and she felt his heartbeat.
 
Thump. Tha-thump. Tha-thump. Tha-thump.
 
She smiled slightly. He was so small- he reminded her of Patchkit. He was just how old her kits would've been by now, too, at around apprentice age. For a moment, she forgot herself.
 
                                       —☆—
 
Opening her eyes, she stared around- was she in the ThunderClan nursery? Yes, yes, that was what this was. And there were Petalkit, Patchkit, and Larchkit curled up at her side, dozing. She glanced up as a pale brown tom brushed into the nursery, green eyes glittering.

"My love," she purred, reaching up to nuzzle Appledusk's cheek. He pulled backward, shaking his head.

"No, Mapleshade. You have to remember."
Her mind spun, the memory of the river flashing through her mind. Darkstar's cold expression as she cast the grieving tortoiseshell away. Appledusk's lack of protest.

"You... You called us... A mistake," she whispered, voice shaking with fury and sorrow. He lowered his head.

"Was it not? Our kits died, Mapleshade- none of this ever would have happened had we not made the choices that we did. Birchface's death condemned me in the eyes of ThunderClan- we were never meant to last." His voice broke slightly, and he sighed. Mapleshade's body shook violently, but she didn't lunge. Instead, she felt something fall into place in her mind. Something that had never been there in the first place. Something that had damned her to the fate that she was now facing.

"I never meant for them to drown! This is my fault- all my fault!" Her mew rose in pitch, and she let out a kit-like wail of agony. Appledusk shifted his starry paws.

"Yes, it was," he murmured, leaning forward to touch his nose to her forehead. A surge of energy flooded her senses, rendering her immobile. "Now that you've accepted that... I think you deserve a second chance." Mapleshade looked up at him, eyes filled with tears- half joyful, half agonized.

"Thank you," she whispered. "Tell our babies that I miss them, so much... And that... And that I'm sorry." Appledusk stepped back with a soft smile as she began to fade from view, her pelt glowing with the light of a thousand stars.

 —☆—

"Maple? Maple! Hey, are you alright?"

With a gasp, Mapleshade opened her eyes, chest heaving. She stared around in bewilderment, her eyes falling on a small black-and-white face.

Myler, she remembered. He took me to safety. He... trusted me.

"Did you call me... Maple?" She rasped, tilting her head. Myler nodded, yellow-green eyes glittering with worry.

"I thought I heard you say your name was Maple-something, the last time we met. I don't know, I'm sorry- I'm just worried about you. You were making really weird noises," he fretted, anxiously flicking his tail. Mapleshade took a deep breath, then smiled.

"Not Maple-something. Just... Just Maple," she mewed quietly. "I think... I think I'm okay now. Have I stopped bleeding?"

"Y-yes, but you lost a lot of blood, and you just had like... a seizure or something. Are you sure you're okay?" He blinked, leaning forward to sniff at her bloodied fur. She tensed, but held still, taking a deep breath.

"Yes. I... I just need to rest. Can I stay with you?"

"Of course you can- I mean, as long as you don't act all mean like you did before." He stepped back and looked at her warily. She sighed.

"It'll take me... It'll take me a while to get used to trusting you, but I won't hurt you, okay?" She lifted her head, wincing as she felt the air hit her wound. Myler stepped forward with a gasp, but she shook her head.

"It's alright," she rasped. "Will you... Will you lay next to me again?" She rested her head on her paws, flicking her tail. Tentatively, he nodded, curling up beside her. She let out a long breath, eyes closing.

"Thank you, Myler. For everything."

"Of course, Maple- I'm just glad you let me help you."

With that, Mapleshade let herself doze off, burying her muzzle into her paws with a smile. As she drifted off to sleep, Myler's heartbeat filled her head.
 
Thump. Tha-thump. Tha-thump. Tha-thump.
 
She had a chance to forgive herself. She had a chance to raise this cat like she wanted to raise her own kits. She had a family- a small one- and she was finally, finally happy.

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⏰ Last updated: May 18, 2021 ⏰

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