41 | Zane

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Song listed at the top: Infinity by James Young (Slowed and Reverb)

Song listed at the top: Infinity by James Young (Slowed and Reverb)

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My chest is hurting. Right at my heart.

And it's unbearable. I can't even sit properly in my chair; I keep fidgeting unable to find a comfortable position.

"Fuck," I grit out with frustration so I get off the chair. Leaving the work at my desk, I pace around my office trying to pass time while I wait for the phone call. Just one and that too from only one person.

That phone call will be an indication for me to continue to the next step but waiting seems to feel like torture when you have piles of work to do yet the only thing I can think about is getting this over and done with.

"Zane, your mother is here. And Veronica." Kade's voice sounds from my office phone.

I stop, looking at the phone thinking what on earth has she got to do coming here? And that too with my mother?

I don't reply. He knows what to do when I don't reply so when he doesn't hear a response from me, the phone shuts off and I can hear muffled talking outside my office. Taking a deep breath, I look up at the ceiling closing my eyes and thinking back to when days weren't so hard to pass and each second didn't feel like never ending.

Those days consisted of looking outside of my window wall and seeing Violet. Watching her look for chocolates, papers fall from her hands as she watches them in annoyance, see her working and answering calls. But most of all, when she would tuck her hair behind her ear and smile when she would find something amusing.

When I would find her looking at me and she would smile or wave, blushing she would look away making my heart flutter with that familiar feeling.

If something was more beautiful than heaven, it would be her.

Just yesterday, I tore all that apart.

She warned me about her heart yet I broke it into shreds and shattered it right in front of my very self. I watched her face crumble and the tears well up in her eyes as she looked at me with nothing but disgust and pain.

I wanted nothing to do with her at the beginning, she was too cheery, too happy but now, all I want is her. Because now I know behind those smiles was years of hidden pain, behind that cheery personality was a shattered soul.

In each rainfall, I will look for her. She is that rainbow for me.

Just like today, but I don't see the rainbow or the hope.

That one hope I pushed away from myself.

A knock interrupts my thoughts making me snap out.

"Come in," my voice is hoarse because I didn't eat anything today.

Kade walks in, slowly inching towards me with cautious steps.

"Are you okay? We only need to wait for the phone call Zane. You know this," I nod but look away from him masking whatever was on my face before turning back to him.

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