Temptation

Chapter 15

Warning! This chapter contains heavy subjects. Viewer's discretion advised.
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Eyes tearing, barefoot on the cold concrete floor, I couldn't feel my hand as the hard travel through my thighs. Radio statistics were ringing in my ears. Every thoughtful reasoning sent me into a deep trance. Every bone in my body was frozen, every second felt heavy. It is impossible to accept the truth, even though you knew it deep down. It is impossible to buy who was challenging you truly. More questions started to form, yet you are still looking for the worse or most reasonable explanation. Let alone decide the fate of someone. How could someone rip the soul of another? What kind of monster could you be to sleep nightly knowing they murdered someone's son?

You never experienced a trance of realization when reality crashes on you like a race car speeding. You never know someone's facades until you discover their true colors. Feelings of irritation built up, my heart rate and breathing increased, darkened blur covered my vision.

I raged through my doors, the next thing I remembered was banging on his. I didn't know what I was doing, but one thing was I wanted to tell him a piece of my mind. It might have been a stupid idea since he was a filthy, deranged human being, but the heat overwhelming.

He wasn't in his dorm. What was I thinking I was accomplishing? I came into my sense and realized that wasn't the plan. I went back to my dorm and grabbed my phone. The number is right there Xemina, call and dropped the bomb. In three hours, the world will know who he is, and my anonymity will be intangible. But I couldn't; A guilty force weighed on my shoulder.

I stormed outside one more time, this time for a walk. I desired a bottle of whiskey to cleared my mind, yet I wanted to resist.  It's midnight; the night is sleepless and sober. A lot of first and second graders were in the courtyard chatting and smoking. You could differentiate the different levels of grades by their comportment. First graders and second graders were more suspicious, lost, and smaller. Third and tier graders were uncaring, like the oldest child who gave up on life before it even started.

I took the green path behind the library, and my heart skipped a beat.

Behind the picture window, Julian was in the library alone. He didn't see me. He was giving his back to the path.

I didn't think about it and ran into the library. I wanted to confront him with all the bone on my body. I wanted to let him know that I knew who he was.

I stopped two tables in front of him. Silence invaded the poorly lighted hall.

"Your obsession with me is starting to get creepy; I have to admit." He smiled without looking at me, running his fingers through the pages of a book—a pencil at the corner of his mouth.

"I doubt that I am the creepy one here." The voice cracks revealed my emotions. I barely could keep it together. My strength and confidence every time I see him shredded to fear and disgust.

He finally put his eyes on me, a smile formed at the corner of his mouth. Chills ran down my spine.

"They told me you were looking for me. You tried to break down my door."

"I wonder why? How could you?" My hands were shaking, and subsequently, maybe I shouldn't have come. I should have made the phone call.

He got up from the chair. He was almost taller has the bookshelf. He grabbed another one and gazed through the pages.

"You never listen, don't you, Xemina?"

"You killed your own best friend! You are an ugly, ruthless and deranged monster!"  I yelled, unable to contain my emotions.

He turned around. He calmly put down the book. His demeanor changed, his jaw and fists clenched.

"How could I be a monster for getting rid of one?" His words sliced through the air. His tone was cold and ominous.

"You just excusing yourself for what you did! He was your friend!" I spat.

"HE WAS NOT MY FRIEND!" He hit the table hardly. I flinched and stepped back and hit the table behind me.

"You do not get pay to befriend somebody. A friend is not someone that used you for popularity and money. A friend is not someone you hang out with in public, and in private, you are two strangers, and that friend you are talking about had assaulted seven girls, and I didn't even know anything. I was walking around with an animal, making myself a predator," he muttered, stepping forward to me. He stopped an inch near my face. I wanted to back off, but his eyes dared me to. His eyes locked in mine, and I can see the pain, anger, and rage that was hiding coming out. He took a deep breath and hissed something between his teeth that shattered my heart.

"And a friend, don't enter your home and rape your 12 years old sister" the voice crack made me sank, and my whole body froze.

" So yeah, I bashed that motherfucker's head with my bare fist and a toaster; I beat him so hard that even the doctors couldn't even bring him back for one more night. I have no regrets, and I'll do it again, again and again. I know you love destroying me, so go ahead and tell everyone about it and how the hell of a monster I am but one thing that I can promise you, just like him, I will take no mercy on you."

He left me alone with my thoughts. I closed my eyes and sit down, my legs against my stomach. Flashbacks and Emotions I buried a year ago came rushing down. Shocked about the truths, I refused to believe them. I refused to believe what he told me. He could have reported him to the police; he could have tried something else, not killing him. I wanted to use every excuse to prove Julian was in the wrong, not realizing all this time I was seeking justice for an utterly pitiless human. Tonight I would've ruined the life of 13 years old in the act of selfishness and arrogance. He was protecting her, and I envied her for that. If only I had someone to watch over me too.

I found myself outside Xavier's door. He answered in his pajamas, confused why I was knocking on his door at 1 am after we had a big fight earlier.

"I am sorry..." I murmured wistfully and low.

"Xemina, it's late. Are you okay?"

I busted into tears in his arms.

"You were right. I'm so stupid and blind."

"Xemina, what did you do?" He asked sweetly while caressing my hair.

"Nothing. It's not worth it."

We laid silently on the couch until we fell asleep. I decided to keep what I found out to myself. I was done searching for revenge. It was time to start thinking before acting. My mind couldn't leave Julian's sister, how hurt she was. I knew that feeling myself. I felt guilty about how bitter have been; I was just jealous that when it happened to me, no one was there to protect me.

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The cat is finally out of the bag.

This chapter is heavy but we will focus on Julian's life because we have a lot to unpack.

Q/ What do you think of Julian's Case? If you are comfortable commenting on it.