It's Not What It Looks Like

ꜰɪꜰᴛᴇᴇɴ | 27 ᴅʀᴇꜱꜱᴇꜱ

‧̍̊˙· 𓆝.° ｡˚𓆛˚｡ °.𓆞 ·˙‧̍̊

𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐫𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐨𝐩𝐮𝐥𝐚𝐫 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧, 𝐌𝐞𝐧𝐚 𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬𝐧'𝐭 𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐜𝐫𝐮𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐨𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐧.

Although, that statement does depend on what exactly one categorises under a crush. If we're talking about short term infatuations, she has had plenty. It has always been in her nature to plan elaborate weddings after no more than a handshake, and if that's what you'd consider a crush, the conversation changes drastically. Mena's crush count skyrockets from one-digit numbers somewhere to the hundreds.

None of those were actually real, though.

Or, at least she didn't think so. You'd need to know the person at least a little to really like them, wouldn't you?

Before she arrived at Silverwood, there were only two people she ever had serious crushes on. Both of them ended rather...infamously.

The first was a boy who kept coming to the biology competitions, year after year. He was pretty, in a way, and he really knew his facts about pigments. Rivalry, the academic setting of a middle school, continuous yet fleeting meetings... it was a love story waiting to happen. After all, there are only so many conversations about molluscs that a hopeless romantic like Mena can have with a person before it eventually becomes too much.

Obviously, she fell for him.

And she fell hard. Her face burned whenever someone mentioned him, and her memory of the periodic table got messed up whenever he was around. She daydreamed about him constantly. Wrote a story about it. Wrote another story about it, except this time they were vampires. She went on like that for years, looking forward to the days of the competitions in a way no sane thirteen year old should have. But in all those years, the two of them never really talked. Not about anything that isn't biology-related, anyway.

Until the night after the state championship in eighth grade.

That night, the two of them stayed up in the hotel room, just getting to know each other. He told her about his family, his childhood pets, and what annoys him about long road trips. He was funny about it, too, and engaging. Knew just how long to listen to her, and when to chime in to keep the conversation going.

But by the time the morning came, her crush on him was gone.

There was no reason for it to happen. If anything, she should have been more into him than ever. They became good friends after that, and Mena suddenly couldn't see them ever being anything more. As though she had abruptly flipped a switch in her mind, any semblance of romantic attraction that Mena once had for him suddenly disappeared.

Her second crush was on her best friend, who also just so happened to be a girl.

The girl part turned out to be less of a problem than the best friend part. Especially when they started getting closer. Closer, maybe, than your average straight girls do.

Mena pulled the switch again, this time on purpose. She got scared when things started getting serious, and she ran. Ignored all the texts for weeks, claimed to be too busy to meet, and all but ghosted one of the most important people in her life.

So.

Yeah.

Now that she thinks about it, she might have some problems.

But there's no need to discuss those now, because they're totally irrelevant to the situation. She doesn't have a crush on Silena. It's just the constant proximity getting to her head—nothing to worry about.