Lilac's Lies

12

I felt like we were both doing the same thing, holding our tongues in an attempt to get the other one to break the silence first.

I barely noticed the way people were marching around us. I barely noticed the way they scoffed at the two teenagers sitting on the ground. I was staring at the mural still, but I wasn't seeing it. I was too focused on Roman. The way he was sitting beside me, the way he still towered over me, making me feel so tiny. I was trying to ignore the smell of his cologne, which was causing my heart rate to increase once again. I was trying to ignore the way his leg was just barely brushing against my own. I couldn't though. I couldn't ignore him. I was hyper aware of him instead.

He finally sighed, about five minutes into our silence. I could have smiled in victory, relishing the fact that he made the first sound. I didn't smile, though, because I was just so simply annoyed at his presence. It felt like I couldn't go anywhere now without running into him. He was around every corner, waiting for me to embarrass myself in front of him.

"Do you need a ride?" He interrupted my thoughts of him by asking. I felt the way my breath hitched in surprise, but I didn't turn towards him. I didn't move at all, almost if I did, it would be a sign of weakness.

"No." I said curtly. Even if I did, I mostly certainly wouldn't get in a car with him.

"You sure? You probably live across town." Roman said, strengthening the annoyance that I was already feeling.

Across town is where the rich people lived. It's where  Clara lived. It's where Jesse, Brett and Khalil lived. I'm guessing it's where Roman lived, since that's where I first met him outside of that party.

"I don't live across town." I sighed out. I don't know why I said that. I normally would have lied, or at the least went along with it. It's not that I'm ashamed to not have as much as much money as the rest of my friends, it's just that if I pretended I did, it caused less questions.

"I see." Roman said like it didn't surprise him, which in turn surprised me. "I can give you a ride anyways."

I felt my eyes move to the side, towards him. I was determined not to move my head, though, so I could only see half of him. He wasn't looking the mural, he was looking directly at me.

"I don't need a ride, I already said that." I muttered, wondering why he didn't get the clue that I didn't want to talk to him in the first place.

"Okay," he said, and I could barely see the way his shoulders shrugged.

"Okay?" I repeated his word, "so why are you still here?"

"Am I not allowed to be here?" Roman asked me back, and his mouth hinted at a smile. "I don't see any signs saying only Lilac can sit here."

I sighed in frustration. I didn't know what to say to that, besides the obvious answer of no, so I flicked my eyes back towards the mural instead. I wished now more than ever I could be the girl in the picture, alone and away from everyone else.

"Is there any reason that you're sitting here?" Roman didn't get the hint that I wanted him to stop talking.

"I like this mural." I told him, my voice was quiet as though I didn't really want him to hear my words.

Roman didn't speak for a moment. Just a small moment, enough to leave me wondering why he was silent.

"What do you like about it?" He asked me, his words were genuine and I wondered why he cared.

"I just like it." I told him, knowing I could never explain quite why I was so drawn to it. I didn't even know myself.

"That's not an answer." Roman chuckled out, as if he was amused by words.