Alone

Alone: Part 3

After getting way too much food, Jungkook and I crashed on his bed and just stared at the ceiling.
"We will never be able to eat all of this.", he realized and I nodded.
"I mean, I can eat all the macarons and the cake, but not when I had dinner first."
"So what? Do you want to skip dinner and go straight for dessert?", he smirked and hovered over me.
"If we're still talking about the food, then yes. If you were using this question to make me aware of your dirty intentions, then no.", I replied and got up.
"You're too smart for my pick-up lines! That's unfair.", he whined and sat up.
"Try harder then.", I retorted and got the bag from the bakery along with a fork. I placed them on the bed and walked over to Jungkook's closet to change into something more comfortable.
"Y/N...?", he softly asked from behind me when I took my shirt off and I hummed in response. "Is it okay for you if we...just hangout and don't do it today? Practice was really exhausting and I would honestly rather watch our show."
"Are you for real? No sex today? Fine. Then you can drive me home now, as this is pointless.", I grumbled to test his reaction, although I didn't mind at all. My lower abdomen had been kind of sensitive all day and I'd much rather cuddle up as well.
"No, no! Forget what I said. I was just joking.", he lied and got up to walk over to me.
Jungkook put his hands on my waist and pressed me against the wall while he brushed his lips along my neck, surely an attempt to make it up to me. I enjoyed his touch too much as to tell him that I wasn't serious and we didn't have to do anything.
"I don't think I've ever told you this, but I love your perfume. It's addictive.", he mumbled against my skin, while he opened my pants and pulled them down.
His mouth traced kisses down my stomach until he reached my panties and then right back up to my bra. As soon as he stood up straight, I got rid of his shirt and pants as well and let him pick me up. Our lips collided in a heated kiss and left my mind blank. Jungkook wrapped one arm around me to hold me close, so he could take a step away from the wall and unclasp my bra with his free hand. I should have probably told him to stop now, but I couldn't bring myself to pull away from his wonderful lips. He walked us back to his bed and carefully laid me down on his covers, while never breaking our kiss. My left hand was at the back of his neck to pull him closer and the other right over his racing heart.
Was it beating so fast because of me?
I could tell that he was willing to go through with this, no matter how exhausted and tired he was, but I wouldn't let that happen. When he parted from me to completely undress me, I cupped his face and made him look at me.
"You weren't joking, but I was.", I confessed and made him sigh in relief.
"So you're not mad?", he tried to confirm his conclusion and I nodded.
"Not at all. Let's just watch our show and eat for today."
He gave me a peck and got off of me to get me a shirt of his before we got comfortable on the bed and started feeding each other cake.
"The strawberry one's the best.", Jungkook hummed, but I disagreed. "Nothing beats the wedding cake."
"Was that a hint? Is there something you want to tell me? Signatures of Jeon Y/N all over your books that you want to show me perhaps?", he joked while raising his brows knowingly, making me lightly hit his arm.
"You're the one with a crush on me, not the other way around."
"You know what's really great about that joke?", he asked and I gestured him to continue. "I can really make it come to life, because I have an affection free-pass.", Jungkook smirked and leaned forward to cover my face in kisses.
I let out an annoyed groan, but eventually put my arms around his neck to pull him closer. We ended up laying down together and snuggled into the sheets, our lips still connected. My hand caressed his soft hair as I allowed his tongue to enter my mouth. Taking his time to explore it, I felt myself growing needier for him by the second. I wrapped my legs around him and made him lay down on top of me, as to have our bodies pressed together. His affection just made me feel so...cared for.

At that thought, I quickly pushed him off of me and sat up straight, my hands reaching out to the box of macarons and stuffing one after the other into my mouth.
"Slow down, kitten. You'll choke otherwise and just a reminder, they were quite expensive.", he remarked.
"Mhmsorry. So yummy.", I mumbled with my mouth still full of the sweets.
It freaked me out.
A rush of panic had washed over me when I realized how connected I felt to him as we kissed. It wasn't right, I shouldn't feel anything but sexual desire for him.
"Are you okay?", Jungkook asked after he saw how I swallowed everything.
"Yeah, I'm fine. I was in a desperate need of sugar and the macarons had to give their life for it. So worth it though.", I answered him and laid back down.
"I want to try something.", he suddenly announced and I let out a frustrated grunt.
"For the last time, I will not let you tie me up or do me from behind. End of discussion."
"That wasn't what I was intending to do.", he scoffed.
"I respect your decisions and opinions on that. However, I have a feeling that I can persuade you into letting me handcuff you for my birthday, but let's keep that conversation for another time.", he predicted confidently and I rolled my eyes at him.
"I really want to take advantage of my free-pass. Right now that means I want to cuddle.", Jungkook announced.
"It's only until Friday. It's only until Friday.", I reminded myself over and over again, but mostly to get on his nerves a little.
"I know exactly that you actually love my affection, so shut up and get comfortable.", he ordered.
I stuck my tongue out at him and moved further up to rest my head on one of the pillows.
"And what do you want us to do now?", I asked annoyedly.
"For today...uhm...", Jungkook mumbled shyly and carefully got on top of me. He rested his head on my chest and put one hand on my waist, while the other traced soft patterns on my thigh.
"...please hold me like you did yesterday."
My heart skipped a beat from his soft words and I even blushed a little after realizing that he must've liked how we held each other close after we were done. It also fit that he was exhausted again. Knowing that he couldn't see my face, I smiled while running my hand through his hair.
"Like this?", I asked, earning myself a satisfied sigh in return.
"You must've been sent from heaven for me.", he hummed and made my smile deepen, because I felt flattered by this compliment. It sounded sincere, but I put it off as him being too tired to know what he was saying.
"Is your heart beating so fast because we're so close? Or perhaps...because of...me?", Jungkook blurted out and I stopped breathing for a moment.
"Uhm...I mean...what other reason could there be, huh?", I decided to be honest.
Something had changed the mood. It no longer felt like the room was heated and the air filled with electricity. Everything seemed calm, safe and comforting.
"Y/N? Can I tell you something that I haven't told anyone before?", he broke the silence.
"That depends on you. If you trust me enough, then you can tell me everything of course.", I replied and felt how Jungkook took a deep breath.
"I don't like playing baseball anymore.", he confessed and I stopped caressing his hair because I was so shocked.
Jungkook no longer liking to play baseball was as if Mozart had said he didn't like making music anymore.
"Are you serious? You're so good at it. Everyone is expecting you to make it your career. You already have sponsors and college scholarships..."
"I know what everybody is expecting, but does anyone care about what I think and want?", he complained and I realized that this wasn't just a random thought or weird mood swing of his. He was serious.
"How long have you been thinking about this?"
"I've felt like this for years now. Don't get me wrong, I love baseball itself, but I don't like what people force me to make of it.", he explained.
"So you're saying it's your hobby, but not your profession.", I figured, making him nod.
"I'm only asking this because I've seen you play, so please don't be mad, but have you really thought this through and realized what a change of mind could mean for your future?", I worried and felt how his hold on me tightened.
"I started playing when I was around four or five and everybody noticed how talented I was. It became the main focus and everything revolved around baseball since then. Whether I had other interests or talents didn't matter anymore. Over the years, I stopped enjoying baseball for what it was. I felt like I couldn't have fun with it anymore, as it was just about me getting better and winning better. There was no room for making mistakes or fooling around.", Jungkook sighed sadly.
"I only moved here because our school has the best reputation for young athletes in this region. As my life was solely about baseball I started to get tired of it. Most of my teammates didn't grow up with the same pressure as I did and couldn't understand my bitterness. Then Jimin came here. We became friends and he introduced me to the world of excessively partying and girls, to make up for the lack of fun in the rest of our lives. It was great for a while, but then...", he hesitated and made me tilt my head.
I felt a pinch in my heart when he mentioned girls, but tried to ignore it.
"Then what? You're still friends with him and you're going out with him this weekend. What changed?", I asked in confusion, making Jungkook look up at me.
"I met you, princess. You changed everything."
"Are you saying that I'm the reason that you don't want to play baseball anymore?! Because if that's the case, I promise to never talk to you again. I don't want others to blame me for getting the best pitcher of our generation on the wrong path.", I declared.
Jungkook chuckled and shook his head at me.
"You are not getting me on the wrong path nor are you the reason that I don't like playing baseball anymore. It's just that ever since I met you, I've been getting a taste of the other sides of life. Believe it or not, but the weekend of our first three night stand was the first ever weekend I stayed at home all day and didn't go to a field to practice. It was the most amazing thing to ever happen to me.", he explained and my eyes widened in surprise.
"The first ever weekend? Wow. That's kind of funny because it was pretty much the opposite for me. That was the first weekend I've ever gone out and not slept at home.", I admitted and made Jungkook smile before he connected our lips in a short kiss.
"Maybe the fortuneteller was right.", he whispered and rested his head on my chest again as I continued going through his hair.
"For sure", I sarcastically agreed and waited for him to continue.
"I got to try so many new things with you, Y/N. That one time I convinced you to go ice skating on that lake on the countryside or camping in my living room... that other time we went to the ocean. Oh, and the hike to see the stars....", he swelled in memories and I quickly pulled him back to reality.
"That sounds way more romantic and sweet than it was. I hate to break it to you, but we did most of these things because of sex. Camping in your living room? We wanted to do it in a tent. The ocean is pretty self-explanatory and the hike was for a blow job under the night sky."
"Yeah, but still we went to all those places together and it's not like we did it the entire time we were there. You did go ice skating with me though.", he pointed out.
"That was a one time thing.", I retorted and pulled my hands away from his head.
"That's also what we always said about our meetings at first.", he remarked and I felt how my cheeks heated up. "Anyways, point being that I got to be a normal high school student and teenager whenever I was with you."
"You said that nobody ever cares about what you think and want or that no other interests and talents of yours were acknowledged... I don't know, but you could tell me about that...or not. You don't have to of course.", I offered, but somewhat took it back again.
This was especially awkward and weird for me. A situation like this needs some sort of social competence which I was definitely lacking. I don't know how to comfort or cheer someone up. I just hoped that I didn't make Jungkook feel uncomfortable or even more pressured. My breathing hitched when he suddenly got off of me and walked out of the room.