Alone

Apart: Part 2

My eyes slowly opened and I yawned while carefully stretching my arms out. When I turned around to look for Jungkook, he wasn't there anymore, so I quickly sat up.
"Jungkook?", I asked into the room, but didn't get a response.
Did he leave again?
I removed the hot bottle from my stomach and noticed how it was still very warm, as if it had just been refilled.
Maybe Jungkook went to the kitchen to get himself something to eat?
After a short stop in the bathroom, I decided to check if I was right. However, he wasn't in the kitchen nor the living room. For some weird reason I frowned and pouted even.
What for?
It wasn't like I needed him or anything. I even wanted to be alone to collect my thoughts and make up my mind about our situation. Still, I couldn't deny that my heart felt kind of heavy upon realizing that he was gone.
What time was it even?
He might've gone back to school for his afternoon classes and baseball practice. It was just past 4PM and therefore meant that he was either at home or practicing. I slouched back to my bedroom to grab a hoodie because I was freezing in the crop top I was still wearing and noticed that Jungkook had left his jacket at the edge of my bed. Since he wasn't around to wear it himself, I quickly put it on and looked for my macarons. As soon as I found the boxes, I shoved one treat in my mouth and went back to the kitchen to get something proper to eat. As I was about to walk around the corner and through the doorway, I froze in my tracks because of an unfamiliar sound.
"Oh, you're up. How are you feeling?", Jungkook asked as he opened the door to my apartment and walked in with a bag in one hand.
"I didn't think you would come back.", I admitted and furrowed my eyebrows at him.
"Why? I didn't even want to leave."
I shrugged and waited for him to say something because I had no idea how to continue or start a new conversation.
"Are you okay? You look kind of weird.", he remarked and made me huff.
"Well, thank you very much."
Jungkook quickly rushed over to me and cupped my cheeks.
"No, that's not what I meant. I can't define the expression on your face. It seems sad, but also somewhat happy yet frustrated and even stressed.", he explained, making me hum.
"Mhm"
"So, are you alright? How are you feeling?"
"Hungry", I replied and got out of his hold to follow my initial plan of going to the kitchen. He walked in right behind me and put his bag down as he watched me looking for food.
"Care to know where I went?", he spoke up.
"Not really.", I lied and opened the fridge.
Jungkook chuckled and judging by the sound of a zip, he opened his bag to get something out of it.
"I guess that means I'll have to eat this mango and butter chicken all by myself then.", he sighed.
My head whipped around to find him with three boxes from our favorite Indian restaurant on the counter.
"You're kidding, right?", I scoffed and watched him get a fork for himself.
"Nope. This is all for me now.", he smiled tauntingly.
I clicked my tongue and rolled my eyes, as I walked over until I stood right in front of him.
"Is something wrong, kitten? Do you need something?"
I glared at him for teasing me like this and tried to snatch the boxes away from him, but he was faster.
"Bad kitten. That's not how it works.", Jungkook hissed and smirked at me.
"Just say it. What is it you want me to do this time?", I groaned and folded my arms.
"Admit that you missed me and are dying to know where I was.", he responded.
"In your dreams.", I scoffed and went back to the fridge.
"Oh come on, Y/N. There's no shame in that. I know that it's true. Just tell me I'm right."
"If you were confident about your accusations, then you wouldn't need my confirmation.", I retorted. "Also, if there's no shame, why don't you say it then? Did you miss me, Jungkook? Was it tearing you apart to leave me?", I teased back, but failed to notice how he bit his lip.
"If that was the case and I admitted to it, would you say it back?", he asked.
"Smart. You want a guarantee. More proof that you aren't sure about my feelings.", I mumbled and tried to come up with something I could make from a bell pepper, a banana and some butter.
What a joke. I shouldn't have eaten the rest of the lasagna all at once.
The fridge suddenly closed and I felt a pair of hands around my waist. My lips formed a thin line as I pressed them together, knowing that the idiot behind me would try to make me weak for him with his touch. I shook my head at him and removed his hands. Jungkook however, wouldn't give up that easily and swiftly turned me around to face him, our noses only inches apart.
"No", I pouted and glared at him.
He didn't bother and just leaned forward to brush his lips along my cheek until he reached my ear. His tongue met my earlobe for a moment before he sucked it between his lips and lured a soft moan out of me.
Dammit, that wasn't intentional.
He slowly moved his still cold hand under the jacket and made me shiver as it touched my waist. His other hand held the other side of my neck, his thumb caressing the cheek and jawline area in front of my left ear. I didn't even notice how he had started walking us backwards, because his mouth traced soft kissed down my neck, but eventually, my back hit the fridge. Just in that moment, Jungkook allowed his tongue to graze my skin as he sucked it between his teeth to nibble on it for a bit. In the mean time, my hands had found their way to his shirt and grabbed a firm hold of it to pull him closer. I cursed under my breath and tilted my head to the side, giving up on my stubbornness and finally accepting his affection. He faintly hummed to make me aware of how much he enjoyed doing this, causing me to smile unconsciously. He then untangled my right hand from his shirt to move it into his hair, signaling me to play with it while he never stopped his actions against my skin. As exciting as this could've been, his movements were slow, calm and meant to make me feel good. It was all about this weird connection we shared right now, something very loving and soothing, but also longing and deep.
"I missed you. Did you miss me as well?", Jungkook mumbled when he parted from my neck to brush his lips against mine.
I couldn't bring myself to say anything, the sensations he created still lingering on my skin and leaving me speechless. When I carefully opened my eyes to find out if he was serious or had a taunting expression, I saw that his eyes were closed to focus on me. He looked peaceful and seemed to be lost in his touch on me, like I was all he cared about right now. There was nothing teasing our dishonest about him. He meant what he said. His lips gently captured mine in a heartwarming kiss before he leaned back down to my ear.
"I missed you like crazy, Y/N. Please say you missed me too.", Jungkook whispered and pressed our temples together.
"I-I...can't.", I stuttered helplessly and turned my head to the side.
"Why?", he asked back and tried to hide his disappointment.
"It isn't right...", I almost whimpered because it hurt not to be able to tell him what he wanted to hear and what I deep down knew was true.
"Who cares? I certainly don't.", he pointed out and made me exhale audibly.
"But maybe you should.", I mumbled.
"Princess, there is no simplifying a problem as complicated as ours. You won't find a solution like this. There is no right answer or easy way out. That shouldn't restrain, deter or even restrict you though. So I'll say it again, okay?"
Jungkook tilted his head and planted a soft kiss right under my ear before he spoke.
"I missed you like crazy. Please tell me you missed me too."
I contemplated for a few seconds, still unsure of my next move. His words only made it harder for me. It sounded like he knew the issue of our agreement in opposition to our feelings and impulses.