Fourteen

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6:57 PM

My mind tells me this revelation is too soon. I can't possibly know if I love someone that fast, but my heart, it's an entirely different matter. I ache to be with him. I long for his touch. I want to know his favorite color, his favorite food, his favorite sport, where he grew up, what he dreamed of. I want to know anything and everything about him. Once I've digested that, I want to know more.

Tori huffs. "If you think you do, then tell him. God Lola, I didn't even know you were dating someone."

I laugh. "Dating? No. It's more complicated than that."

"Complicated. Oh my God, you little slut is he married?"

Yes. To me.

"No."

"Do you get all flushed when he talks to you?"

"Yes."

"Do you hate every minute spent apart?"

"More than you can possibly comprehend." No need for puke worthy details. Literally.

"Does he make your toes curl when you kiss him?"

I feel the heat rush directly to the apples of my cheeks. "Yep."

"It's decided," Tori says, "You love him."

"But how?" I ask. It's a question directed more at myself than it is at her.

"How? Well I'm sure there is some kind of chemical reaction your brain has when you're with him."

"Thanks Tori, that's deep."

"So can I ask you something else?"

"Yeah, sure."

"If you love him, why are you sulking on your bed instead of out with this mystery man of yours, taking in all life has to offer?"

"Xavier and him hate each other." I roll over in time to see Tori's face cringe. 

She holds her hand out, palm forward. "Say no more. I get it now."

"Exactly."

There's a long pause between us. "Thanks for the talk," I say, finally filling the empty space with words. "Do you want me to help you clean?"

"Are you kidding? Girl, you are entitled to ice cream and chick flicks. Like you're going through a breakup."

"If this is what a break up feels like, I don't want it. Ever."

She places her hand on my shoulder. "Go have a shower. That always makes me feel better."

Maybe she's right, plus I didn't shower before leaving Jax's place that morning. I stand, thank her again and gather my bathroom bag. "Are you sure you don't need my help?"

"Lola. Go. Have a nice hot shower, you'll feel so much better. Then you can take one for the team and go get us ice cream from the pier."

That doesn't sound like a half bad idea. Tori, despite what Xavier thinks, isn't all bad. I'm glad she was here.

I head to the showers, strip and get in cranking the dial to the hottest possible setting. I close my eyes, letting the water wash over my skin. I don't know if I'm hyper sensitive or what, but each spray feels like a tease of where Jackson's lips were just a few hours ago. I lean against the tile and will things to be right in my world when a small voice reminds me that everything I ever wanted is coming true. I wished for this. I wanted not to be invisible. I wanted to matter to someone and here he was...on this earth, flesh and bone... for me.

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