We all have our bad habits
Needles laying on the floor
Bottles sitting on the nightstand
A new body sleeping next to you every night
They're called habits
Because they consume
Who we used to be
And replace us with someone
Who we never thought we'd be
What I don't understand is how
Every time I eat
Watch a movie
Go on a plane ride
I let myself get consumed by the smoke in my lunges and the cancer dangling between my fingers
I give it the fire it craves
He looks at me with disappointment every time I give into my bad habit
It's who I am
I thought he loved me for who I am?
As I give into my cravings yet again
He looks at me and says
"Let me see one of those, let me show you how easy it is to quit."
"Easy?" I say "years of a habit don't just go away, it's like breathing."
He takes mine out of my hand and I almost felt like I was going to die without it
He throws it to the ground and steps on it
I'm not sure if I've ever seen him so angry
"You make bad choices and call them habits, well I've been here for years and I can easily leave just the same as you can carry on killing yourself...just don't except me to be around to watch."
And as he walked away
I knew
I wanted to find who I used to be
I no longer wanted bad habits
I wanted to make good choices
He was my ultimate craving
YOU ARE READING
Before I Blackout
PoetryMy best work is done when I'm on the edge of blacking out, when you finally stop trying to pretend you have a grip on what runs though your mind, you should try writing with your eyes half closed and your mind wide open. This may be an on going pro...
