Bau Baddies
Reid: Guys wheres Hotch? I don't recall him saying he wasn't coming in today
Derek: WHAT IF HE SNAPPED AND QUIT BC WE ANNOY HIM TOO MUCH 🤩🤩
Y/n: I would not be surprised
Rossi: He didn't quit he would've told me, he's probably just running late
Emily: no he def quit LMAO
Y/n: PFFT PLZ
Garcia: not funny:((
JJ: idk if I should laugh or not
Emily: do it it's good for the soul
Derek: and youd know this how?
Emily: I HAVE A SOUL FUCK YOU 🔊🔊
Hotch: I'm not quitting, Jack fell down the stairs and he needs stitches I don't know if I'll be in today
JJ: Tell Jack we hope he feels better!
Emily: at least it was stairs and not a car
Hotch: Pardon me?
Y/n: yeah getting hit by a car is way worse tbh
Derek: or a truck
Rossi: or a 🚂
Hotch: This feels threatening
Hotch: EMILY HOW DID YOU GET HERE SO FAST ???? AND WHY
Derek: oh I'm omw too
Rossi: so we all had the same idea huh
Reid: am I the only one still at work
Garica: yes
Y/n: yea lol
JJ: yes
Emily: yes
Derek: yes
Hotch: as nice as that is, you all need to get back to work. He is fine.
Y/n: no
Derek: ^
Emily: not you texting and driving
Derek: built: diff
Derek: SHIT AHIT FUCK ODBEJR
Garcia: ..oh my god did he-
Hotch: Derek?
Derek: I just crashed my car 😑
Emily: LMAO HAHAHAH
Y/n: DUMBASS R U OKAY
Derek: yeah current status: waiting for some sexy bitches to pull over and help me 🤑
Hotch: ..my god
Emily: GUYS HOTCH KEEPS FLIRTING WITH THE NURSE LMAO
Hotch: No?
Emily: ^*yes
Derek: OKAY I SEE YOU PLAYER
Rossi: Is she hot?
Emily: *he
Derek: FRUITY😜
Hotch: I am not flirting.
Y/n: sounds guilty
Emily: Anytime he comes to check up on Jack Hotch gets so flustered and giggly mans is actually smiling
JJ: these bitches gay, good for them, good for them
Derek: OO YUH GO GET 'IM HOTCHYPOO 🎶🎷🎷
Rossi: Derek do you need me to come pick you up?
Derek: oh yeah, yes please lol I'm stuck
Y/n: oh yeah def flirting I see what you mean em
Emily: ^^^^^ told you
Hotch: This is bullying I am being bullied.
Y/n: guys I literally walked into this- nurse: nice suit by the way hotch: *fucking dies*
Garcia: That's adorable ^-^
Hotch: I am not dead.
Derek: AWH HOTCHY IS BLUSHING
Rossi: I brought pasta for Jack btw
Hotch: remember what you guys said about snapping and quitting?
Emily: is that a threat 🤔🤔
JJ: guys one day hes not gonna be joking I stg
Derek: bossman don't quit ur the BAU dilf we need you
Y/n: PLEASE ^
Hotch:
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Derek: AYO?? HOTCH AND MEMES??? THIS MAN IS HAVING A STROKE SOMEOME CALL A NURSE IN HERE
Garcia: I SENT HIM SOME AND HE SAVED THEM OMG HOTCH UR LEARNING
Hotch: Did I use it right?
Garcia: yes !!!
Reid: 🐧 he knows all
Derek: ??? PRETTY BOY QHAT THE FUCK
JJ: spence plz
Reid: he does
Y/n: ... why
YOU ARE READING
BAU groupchat + Reader
Fanfictionhow I think the BAU team would text eachother except you're also on the team dealing with their antics Some stuff is out of character and I exaggerated their personalities for comedic value, enjoy!
