Jessie & Elizabeth (abandoned)

17. Platonic Professions [Part 2]

Kenny was furious with me.

Initially, I'd intended to send him the money after all; it wasn't like Elizabeth would ever find out. That option flew out of the window quickly when he started the messages. Apparently, I was ungrateful, which honestly was a bit unfair, considering everything I'd done for him when he was younger. Maybe he didn't remember. Trying to be strong like a certain boss of mine, I'd turned off my phone and buried it under my pillow. I didn't take it out again, but I guess I couldn't be that proud of myself, considering I fell asleep the next minute.

When I descended the stairs a few hours later, soft giggles and eager voices floated from the living room, and I padded to the doorway, not wanting to interrupt whatever was going on. Plaids were hung from the chairs to the couch, creating a tent-like hideaway, bright light from within outlining the distorted silhouettes of Elizabeth and Camille. Ari guarded the entrance, fairy wand in hand, and Manon was bent over a tablet, scrolling through a playlist. She selected a song, and it immediately played over the boxes, one of her favorites from BTS.

Part of me wanted to smile, only the other part ached, so I didn't. I recalled plenty of days like this, my brothers and sister running around the table, constantly bumping into the flimsy walls and tripping over each other's shoes, the trailer shaking under the weight of all of us. Those had seemed like the best times of my life for so long, and I'd craved to have something like that again— a real family.

So much so, that it seemed I'd forgotten about Ma's absences, my brothers' attempts to bash each other's heads in as they fought over the remote, my sister's and her friend's mean remarks about my limping and frizzy hair. Ratting each other out to earn our stepdad's favor, Uncle Ray incredibly kind but rarely sober, no quiet place to do your homework. It had never been perfect, which is why I didn't blame Kenny or any of the others for turning out like they did, but I'd always believed it'd been good.

Then I saw this and thought of the past weeks, and it came to me that maybe, my standards were depressingly low.

Ari was the first to spot me. They jumped up in the air, stretching so wide I was surprised their pants didn't tear, and hopped towards me like a rabbit. "There you are, sleepyhead!" they called out, tugging at my arm. "Have you seen our castle?" They pointed at where one of the plaids was attached to a wall sconce. "I pinned the corner of that blanket all the way up there."

Suddenly, I missed my brothers and sister so, so much.

The tent flap was pushed aside, and Elizabeth's head emerged, giving me a hesitant smile. "You look much better than this morning," she said, scanning me from head to toe. Not sure what was more appealing about sweatpants than bathrobes, but she didn't do false compliments. "See? Staying home was the right choice."

It hadn't been much of a choice, not when Kenny only needed my money and not me. Not when he was mad at me for not rolling over and bringing it to him like a faithful dog. I rubbed the side of my face, avoiding her eyes, much too pretty and bright for the way I was feeling. "Yeah," I said, retreating into the hallway. "Have fun, guys." I tried for a smile; it felt stiff and too wide to be convincing. "I'm just gonna..."

"No!" Cami crawled out of the tent, managing to trip over her Elsa dress. Her hair was braided in an intricate pattern, a few loose curls bouncing down her forehead, and her cheeks were apple red. "You have to stay! We're doing girls' and enbies' day, and you're a girl." She said it like that would be the end of it, and my heart ached again, only for a whole different reason.

I looked at Elizabeth, waiting for her to remind them Saturday was my day off, like she usually did. Until now, I'd always ignored her, babbling about not having plans anyway. This time, though, I needed the excuse, and she didn't supply it, just stared at me with her eyebrows slightly raised — she looked so relaxed, with her hair in a messy ponytail and her shoulders slumped, the rest of her hidden from sight.