Harry Styles
It was always so dark.
Sometimes I would spend several seconds blinking nonstop, thinking that maybe the problem was me. Maybe my eyes simply stopped working and now I was blind... but no.
The darkness would consume me entirely, it was a feeling that started deep in my guts and slowly spread to every single cell in my body, enveloping me in a way that made it impossible for me to get out.
My lungs hurt and I couldn't breathe properly, each sharp intake of breath would feel as if I was breathing fire, burning me along the way as it seemed like someone was crushing my chest. I felt stuck... I couldn't move or see or feel anything but terror.
I had no idea where I was or how long I had been in the dark for, I was just... there.
Physically there, but mentally somewhere else entirely.
I never had control of my brain or my thoughts when this happened, whatever this was. Usually, it would feel just like a void, sucking me into the darkness and drowning me with fear and panic.
My skin was crawling and I could feel the thin layer of cold sweat, mixing with the tears streaming nonstop down my cheeks and soaking my shirt.
Maybe I fell on the floor, maybe my legs simply didn't handle my weight anymore. I had no control over my body whatsoever, I was a prisoner.
I was sitting there, but without knowing where 'there' was.
It was a feeling kinda like quicksand, if I even dared to try to snap out of it, I'd be dragged back into the same cycle of emptiness, only deeper and deeper.
Everything was black. It was quiet. There was no light.
I could hear my heart racing, maybe... I wasn't sure. But it was reverberating through my whole body and it felt like the sound of my blood coursing in my veins was echoing even louder, keeping me trapped in this neverending torturous spiral.
But there was something different today.
I didn't remember what happened in order for me to be alone in the dark, but I had a feeling of concern and frustration that was nearly as strong as my fear. There was someone in the back of my mind... I just knew I had to snap out of this, but I couldn't.
I was wide awake but in trance... frozen in place but with an unreal flow of rushed thoughts.
And that's when the flashes started.
"Harry, please. You have to eat." Her voice was soft and caring, but I knew she was just as scared as I was.
She tried to take care of me, but who was taking care of her? My mum would be so angry if she knew this was my fault.
"I'm not hungry, Gem," I whispered, but I couldn't see her.
It was dark.
The smell was disgusting and I couldn't eat when I only wanted to puke. My hands wouldn't stop shaking and I tried to push my curls off my face, they were so long now...
I had no idea how long we'd been here. Gem went to pick me up after class and then we were here. Everything happened so fast that it seemed like a dream.
It smelled like metal. I could hear the water. I could hear the cries, but maybe they were my own.
"Harry, just a bite. Mum would be so proud of you." I felt my sister touching my arm and I instantly flinched away.
It wasn't her fault, I was always scared. I was always crying.
It was always so dark.
My dad used to say I had to learn how to be a man and protect those I loved. I didn't protect Gemma. I did nothing at all.
