30: 𝐍𝐞𝐰 𝐁𝐞𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬

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It's been one month since I've last heard Adaline's voice. After everything that happened at the store and the hospital, Adaline hadn't talked since last month. It was now February and so Esmeralda was in school now. We didn't tell her about anything other than Adaline wasn't pregnant. She was kind of bummed out considering she wouldn't be having a sibling but I told her maybe one day.

Adaline's reaction to her miscarriage was excruciatingly painful, we had to hold her down so the doctors could sedate her again because her heartbeat was abnormal. I still remember her heart-crushing cry when the doctor told her the blows to her stomach harmed the baby. Saude ended up leaving because he couldn't take it, but I stayed.

I had cried that entire night as I laid beside Adaline with my hand laying flat on her stomach. She had to stay in the hospital for an extra two days for safety precautions but after that they released her.

I knocked on the door of our room before I pushed it open. Adaline was curled on the bed in a fetal position in one of my hoodies that cradled her body. I sighed heavily and walked over to open the blinds revealing our snow-covered backyard and frozen pool. It was rare for it to snow in Flordia, but I happened to have snowed last night so we Floridians we're enjoying it.

I looked down to see Saude sliding on the frozen water, Esme yelling at him and waving her hands. The ice below Saude started to crack and then he fell through while Esme laughed.

"Baby, it's a beautiful day outside...It snowed," I told her as I laid beside her, pulling her small body into mine. She had fresh tears on her face, her hand was cradling her stomach. "I understand you're in pain baby, and I want to help you but I can't if you won't talk."

She kept her dull brown eyes staring straight, looking blankly at my chest. I didn't want to force her out of her stage of grief — I knew it was hard considering the child was something we created. But it was harder for her because she was carrying them. "I know things have been really hard lately, but don't think that I love you any less. Because I love you more than before. And I know we lost our baby, but it wasn't your fault."

She looked up at me once I had said those last words with remorseful eyes. She thought that it was her fault — I knew she was blaming herself from day one. But it wasn't. And I wanted her to understand that.

"I'll make you some tea, You need to stay warm. I'll be right back." I got up with a heavy sigh, moving my outgrown hair from my face. It was now to my shoulders, black and shiny just like Saude'. I didn't feel the need to take care of myself when Adaline was going through something much more important than me.

It may not have seemed like it but I was grieving as well. I just tried my hardest to stay strong for my family, especially my daughter. I didn't want to worry her so I didn't break down or cry in front of her. My parents were coming down to visit again as well to check on us since I had told them of her miscarriage.

I walked to the kitchen where I saw both the cats — Rosey and Ginger — laying lazily on the counter. I noticed their bowls weren't filled so I opened some of their cat food and dumped it into the bowl. The felines happily jumped off the counter and to the ground towards their bowl.

I went to fill up the tea kettle with water before sinking it on the heated stovetop, I sighed heavily and leaned against the counter with a slight frown as I watched Esmeralda and Saude run back towards the sliding backdoor. Esme with a smile on her face while Saude was freezing his ass off with pink-blueish skin.

"Fuck, Fuck, Fuck!" He cursed stumbling into the house with water trailing behind him.

"No cursing, there's a kid present." I murmured, pulling a smile on my face when the two came closer.

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