Four Beating Hearts

56 - Little Not

Penelope POV

Mom had to stay in the hospital for a couple of days and I hadn't been little at all that entire time. I know ma and sorella were getting worried about me for not slipping. I couldn't slip though, it wasn't fair to mom.

I'm the reason she was hurt. I was little when we went to the cemetery and wasn't able to pay attention to my surroundings. I need to not be little for awhile. Mom's coming home today, and I have to protect her.

I wouldn't let ma or sorella carry me around since I wasn't little either. That included going up and down the stairs meaning I was crawling up and down. They were not happy about that, but I fought them every time.

I was currently sitting in my bedroom contemplating everything. I haven't slept in their bed since mom was hurt and I didn't plan on sleeping in their bed when she came home. I didn't want to hurt her more.

Ma and sorella tried to get me to let one of them sleep with me at night but I told them no. What they didn't know was I haven't been sleeping, so I felt it every night when one of them slipped into my bed and then slipped back out in the morning. I would take short power naps throughout the day, but other than that I didn't sleep.

I heard a knock on the door and I didn't respond. It had become pretty typical of me to not answer or leave my room. They'd bring me food every meal and a snack occasionally. I ate it simply so there was no argument.

Sorella walked in and I tensed up slightly. Ma was a little more gentle with me than sorella. Sorella was very blunt with her expectations. She came in and sat on my bed before speaking. "You're going to therapy." She said plainly and I raised my eyebrows at her.

"Excuse me?" I questioned and she looked at me seriously.

"You wanted to awhile back and I think it is a good idea for you to go now. I don't see the problem." She said with a shrug and I balked at her.

"I am not going to therapy." I told her plainly and she seemed to be in an arguing mood.

"Penelope! This -" Mari started arguing.

"NO! I am not going to therapy and that's final! You cannot make me! Now please leave my room." I shouted at her before turning my back to her. I heard her sigh before leaving my room.

I broke down into tears. I tried wrapping my arms around myself but it didn't help any. I heard the door open and I internally groaned.

"Sorella, please leave me alone." I said through my sniffles.

I felt my bed dip and arms wrap around my body. "It's a good thing I'm not her then huh?" I turned to see it was ma holding me.

"Ma." I cried slightly while hugging her tightly.

"What's with the tears sugarplum?" Ma asked me and I shook my head.

"Sorella wants me to go to therapy but I don't want to." I finally told her while pulling away.

"Do you know why you don't want to? I think therapy may be beneficial for you baby. You have been through so much." Ma explained and I shook my head.

"I don't deserve it." I told her plainly and she tilted her head at me.

"What do you mean you don't deserve it? Baby everyone deserves to put their mental health first." Ma tried to explain but I started crying again.

"Mom could have died because of me! It's my fault! I should be the one in that hospital bed, not her. She never does anything wrong, she doesn't deserve this. It's my fault, it's my fault, it's my fault." I yelled while punching myself in the jaw.

Ma tried to pull my hand away from my face but I was too strong at first. She managed to pull it away before pulling me into her arms. "Baby, baby please calm down. It is no one's fault besides Karen and Michael's. They are the ones that hurt mom. Please, your mom wouldn't want you to do this to yourself. Please stop Penny." I cried in her arms as she held me tightly. Ma had started crying too making me feel worse about the situation.

"Penelope?" I heard a soft voice speak from my doorway. I looked up and saw mom with her arm in a sling standing in my doorway.

"Mom? You're home?" I asked, a smile starting to finally form on my face.

"I am baby, how about you come lay in bed with me for awhile?" Mom asked with a gentle smile and I looked at ma who gave me a small smile. I could do this, just no touching.

"Go ahead baby, I'm going to talk to your mom for a minute." Ma told me and I nodded before crawling out of my room and down the hallway not missing the weird look I received from mom, but she didn't say anything.

I made my way into their room and climbed up onto their bed on mom's side, making sure to leave enough room for her as I waited.

Isabella POV

"What's happening Bel?" Beth asked me and I sighed as she walked over and brushed some of my tears away.

"I'm assuming Mariana told you about how she hasn't been little and had a freak out about therapy?" I asked and Beth gave me an assuring nod.

"Well she just had a major freak out. She is adamant about not going to therapy because she feels like she doesn't deserve it. She thinks it's her fault for you getting hurt. She thinks if she wasn't little that you wouldn't have been hurt." I told her and her jaw dropped.

"It's in no way her fault. It's those damn people's fault." Beth told me clearly upset.

"I know, and I explained it to her. I think what's worse is that this is our 17 year old believing this. Beth...she...she hurt herself." I said the last part quietly as I saw my wife tear up.

"How?" Beth asked quickly and I shook my head.

"She punched herself in the jaw repeatedly shouting and I quote "It's my fault."" I told her with a tired sigh. "I've never seen her that distraught before." I told her honestly and she nodded.

"I'll go check on her. You should go sit with Mariana, she's not having the easiest time with her conversation with Penny." Beth told me and I nodded as we went separate ways.

A/N: I posted the first chapter of my new story, Our Protector!