STAR WARS IMAGINES

poe dameron | traitor [part one]

as promised :-) this is different from what i usually write but everyone wanted something based off of this song so here we go; 1.6k+ words

/ / /

He promised he would never hurt you. You believed wholeheartedly and gave him all of your trust, all of your love, all of your reason for being alive. Then again, he promised you a lot of things that weren't true, like how he would leave the Guild for you and create a better life for the two of you and stop running spice and start looking for real work and always choose you, no one else. He promised you that there was only you for him, that it had been like that forever. It was only you. But he lied.

He was eleven years old when he lost his mother. Eleven years old and terrified, with no previous encounter with grief in the safe world that his parents had created for him. His parents had shielded him from all that they could, but they could not protect him from loss. Nothing could protect him, not even you. But you could help him. 

You did everything you could. It was hard, because you were only twelve, but you gave your everything to bring the light back into his smile. He promised you forever simply because he trusted that you would hold his heart forever. When he was eighteen years old, he promised you forever as he cradled your face in the moonlight on the first night together in your shared apartment on Kijimi, where the two of you were creating a brand new start --- a brand new life --- together, sleeping in two skinny cots in a room with rotting walls and one single refresher off the corner. He looked at you and whispered that he would give you the galaxy and the sparkle in his eyes sucked you right into his heart and you believed him. Oh, you believed him so strongly. So desperately.

But he was a liar. An absolute liar. 

His brown guilty eyes were all that you needed to confirm what you already knew. In the dim lights of the cantina, you could see how pained he really was to look at you, because your face showed that you knew he betrayed you. He had broken your heart just like you knew he would.

It didn't surprise you, but it still crushing to see how his fingers were intertwined with hers. How the bartender was sliding two pretty blue drinks across the counter that were on his tab. How her pretty green eyes lingered on his face no matter where he looked. It wasn't surprising, but it was heartbreaking. Heartbreaking that he was a complete and total liar, and that you always trusted him no matter how much he lied. Heartbreaking that you still loved him, even standing in the cursed cantina where your entire soul crumbled inside of you.

You always pretended that you didn't see how Poe and Zorii looked at one another. You acted like you didn't notice how they would run off together whenever you were busy. Poe was a liar, but he wasn't a cheater --- you knew he remained faithful to you in the way that mattered to him, but only to him. In your heart, you knew that he was unfaithful in his mind. He chased after dreams and girls that were quick flames and nice adventures. 

You were too safe of a choice. Something that he could count on to take care of him, but not something that he wanted to take care of. He longed for a life of danger that you didn't care for. He chased after it selfishly, and all the while you chased after him selflessly. 

Seeing them together was a wound that left your breath hitching in your throat. The smooth glass of alcohol in your hand was in danger of being crushed beneath your fingers. You turned quickly away from the couple and went to the bar on the opposite side of the counter, where no one was really sitting. The stool you claimed was in the far corner and as pathetic as drinking alone looked, you couldn't find it in you to care. You wanted to be alone. You wanted the tears to be able to fall as you sipped the fiery liquid and you wanted to drown it all out. The lies, the heartache, all of it. Poe would be a distant memory so long as he remained behind you.