Alone[ON HOLD]

Chapter 33

"Can we talk", Matteo asks looking down at his feet making his hair fall to his face.

I don't really want to talk.

"There's nothing to talk about", I grab the door nob handle.

"Wait", I hear him call from behind me.

We're actually doing this right now.

"What, Matteo", I turn around to face him. He asked me to stay away from him and I complied.

Cut him off.

No.

"I'm SORRY", he yells, running his hand through his hair.

"I-I'm an idiot and I'm stupid. I didn't mean what I said. I was in pain and I felt like I was dying. The only way to end the pain was to turn it off. I didn't want to feel anything anymore. My brother is dead and I-I-I", his voice began to crack.

This feeling that he feels is what I have felt every single day of my pathetic life. I wouldn't even want my enemies to bear the pain. Rico hasn't even been gone a week and I already ruined his sweet Matteo.

You ruin everything.

He grabbed my hand and held it to his heart. His eyes became glossy.

"Hit me, punch me, yell at me, I don't care. I deserve it all", he pleads as his lip starts to quiver.

I raise my hand up, making him flinch. He thought I would hit him.

I grab the back of his neck and pull him into me as he sobs. He quickly wraps his arms around my waist and cries.

I see the door nob spin and John peeks his head in the room. I'm facing the door as it's out of Matteo's view. I give John a look telling him it's okay. He frowns then slowly closes the door.

"I'm so sorry", Matteo cries, tightening his grip.

"It's okay baby, just relax", I console, rubbing his back.

He leaves my embrace and wipes his tears away.

I grab his hand and lead him towards the foot of my bed, making him take a seat with me.

"You don't need to be sorry, it was my fault. You lost Rico and I should have made the arrangements so I could have been there for you. "

Look at what you did.

"No, Sage-"

"Tomorrow is going to be really really hard, but we will go through it together. You and me, he will be with us. Just forget about everything that happened at the club", I advise.

"Okay, but I want you to know that not a word I said is how I feel. You are the most important person in my life, and I will NEVER let anything like that happen again", he pulls me into another hug.

Why the fuck won't you stop hugging?

I slowly let go, "Go join John and Maze I will be right out."

He nodded giving me a kiss on the cheek and walking out of my bedroom.

I go into my bathroom and look into the mirror.

He didn't mean what he said.

I'm the most important person in his life.

Don't be naive Samara.

***

"One night we were out at a club and Rico was drunk. When I say he was drunk I mean he couldn't even stand", Maze began. We decided to tell our favourite memories with Rico. We all sit around the couch in blankets.

I sit on the end with Matteo leaning his head on my shoulder, John beside him, and Maze next to him.

"And we stayed there all night, drinking away, telling each other our deepest darkest secrets. The morning after that was filled with a lot of shocks and that's how I started blackmailing a mafia leader with his secrets", she says ending with a laugh. Smiles came to the trio's faces.

"I want to know these secrets", Matteo says wiggling his eyebrows.

"The secrets are too powerful for you to know", Maze trails off.

"Don't get mad, but remember the time I was having a sleepover with Matteo", John says looking guilty.

I already know what happened, word gets around. I'll play along.

I nod, raising an eyebrow.

"Rico said that I need 'experience' so he took me to this street race and I thought I was going to die. He drives so fucking fast and long story short we won. I got a little scratch, but it was fucking worth it", John continues. This idiot gets excited over the dumbest things.

He stares at me. Oh, I'm supposed to act surprised.

"OMG, I never knew. I am furious, how could you do such a thing", I commented sarcastically.

"You knew", he points an accusing finger at me, making me shrug.

"What about you, Matteo what's your favourite memory of Rico", Maze asks snuggling into the blanket around her. We all turn towards Matteo.

A smile appears on his face as he reminisces his memories.

"If I had to pick one, it would be the crazy night last summer. Rico and I wanted to let loose, the mafia had been so busy and we barely got to spend time with each other. Let's just say that the night ended with us running away from the cop's butt-ass naked", we all look at him with wide eyes and abrupt into laughter.

"I don't even want to know how you guys got there", Maze holds her hand up stopping him from continuing.

"Guys it's getting late and we have a long day ahead of us tomorrow, so you guys go to sleep", I stretch my arms.

They all get comfortable, as I turn off the lights.

"Sage, you didn't tell us your favourite memory with Rico", Joh noted.

"Maybe tomorrow", I lightly smile.

I'm so used to Rico being by my side, checking up on me, leading me out of the dark. That night at the cliff, our meaningless conversations, the morning after. I smiled. The ball, the dance, everything was perfect with him and he left me.

Weakness.

Love no one, and no one can hurt you.

Did you like this chapter?

Remember to vote and comment.