Fighting For What's Missing

38.

William

I wait until I hear Robbie and Agnes in the kitchen, talking to Tisha, to get up from the floor and turn to Gloria. "What are you doing here? Agnes thinks we're going to be together, I'm not going to do that to her."

"So what? I just leave out of the blue? I just stop coming completely? Think about what that's going to do to Agnes."

"Do not get my daughter's hopes up."

She smiles. "Congratulations about that too."

I crack my knuckles then drop my hands at my sides. "Yeah..."

"Yeah...so...can I stay?"

"For today, but after I talk to her it's her decision."

She leans back into the couch. "You let Agnes decide a lot. Do you think that's smart?"

I shrug. "It gives her some control in life."

We slip into awkward silence-like we always do-and she frowns. "I'm sorry," she says, standing up. I give her a questionable look. What the hell is she apologizing for? "I mean...I wish this could've worked."

"I-"

"Daddy! Daddy! Daddy! Look!" Agnes shrieks happily as she charges into the room with one skate in her hands. "You have to put your name on it! I already put my name on the other one."

I lean down so I'm eye-level with her and brush the hair out of her face. "I will. Just give me a minute."

"Okay!" She shouts then runs back into the kitchen. I find her little thrilled okays freaking adorable.

Straightening my back, I return my attention to Gloria. "I'll keep my distance," she says.

********

It took Agnes probably ten or fifteen minutes to get used to her stakes. She's zooming through the house, ruining Tisha's floors, and smiling so hard, she's glowing. If I had known about her reaction to stakes before, I would've gotten them way sooner. She even kept them on while we ate the chocolate-covered strawberries. Gloria didn't stay long, maybe an hour or so, it was hard to tell since she stayed in the background most of the time. I feel like a dick but I'm grateful for it. I don't want Agnes getting attached to Gloria anymore than she already is.

"Green, please," Agnes says, holding out her hand, her palm facing upward. Robbie smiles and places the tiny green market in her hand. Agnes took off her stakes to color them again. She's still waiting for me to finish the stake with my name on it. I want to decorate for her, I just don't know what to put on it.

I take one more look at Rob and Agnes on the floor then push off the doorframe I was leaning on and walk into the kitchen.

"Sorry about the floors," I mutter, taking a seat at the table, across from Tisha. "I'll clean them before I go."

"I don't mind. I miss having a kid her age around."

"Why don't they give you younger kids?"

"Because I'm too old. I'm surprised they even let me foster Agnes so quickly."

"Agh!" I hear Agnes groans in frustration. I snap my head in the direction of the doorway leading to the living room. I can't see them, but I can hear them moving around.

"I was talking to Laura, Agnes' caseworker, and she said Agnes would have to stay in a foster home for a bit before living with you in Portland."

That catches my attention, and I focus most of my attention on her again. "What?"

"I don't see anything," Robbie says.

"It feels weird!" Agnes whimpers, and I jump up.

"What's wrong?" I ask, hurrying into the living room. They're still on the floor, it looks like they haven't moved, but Agnes is frowning hard with her hand pressed against her ear. "What is it?" I ask as I kneel in front of her.

"It feels like something is moving in my ear." She's about to cry.

"I already checked, but I don't see anything," Robbie says.

"Aghhhh!" Agnes whiles, roughly rubbing her hand up and down on the side of her head. Robbie and I reach for her arm. I reach her first and pull her hand away. "Daddy, please!" She sobs then throws herself into my chest. I release her arm and hold her.

"She said it started a little after we arrived," Robbie whispers. I can barely hear him over Agnes cries that are ripping through me. "But it's just now getting to her."

"Okay." I stand up, picking up Agnes in the process, and hold her to me as I walk to the kitchen. Tisha jumps up at the sound of Agnes' crying. "Do you have any ear drops?" She nods, hurrying past us and out of the room. "Let me see," I whisper to Agnes as I walk to the table and sit down.

Agnes clenches at my shirt with shaking fists. "It's...doing...it...again," she groans angrily through her teeth.

"I know, baby girl." I grab and tilt her head at an angle. The side of her head is red from her rubbing and there are a few claw marks.

"Ahh!" She shrieks then attempts to hit her ear with her fist, but at the last moment, I grab her wrist. I stare at her with wide eyes as she cries out in pain and frustration and begins to squirm around. "It's driving me insane!"

"Here, here, here!" Tisha rushes in, Robbie not far from her trail. Jumping to my feet, I hold Agnes to my chest with one hand and snatch that tiny bottle from Tisha with the other. "Should we take her to the hospital?"

I shake my head. "She's going to be fine."

Agnes is still squirming and crying in my arms as I carry her upstairs and into her room. Placing her in bed, I settle her on her side then push her hair out of the way. The bottle says two drops and that's how much I put.

"It feels weird. I can feel it sliding into my ear," Agnes groans. "I can't really hear."

I crouch down and caress the top of her head. "Does it feel any better?"

"A little. But I still feel insane."

"I know..."

"No, you don't," she growls. "You can't know."

"Okay...you're right, I don't know, and I won't ever be able to know exactly how you feel. But I'm right here. You won't have to go through it alone."

She instantly softens, then a few moments of beats later, she breakdown into a sob. "I'm sorry, daddy."

"Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey," I stand up and sit on the edge of the bed. "You didn't do anything." She shakes her head then buries her face into her pillow. "Kid, you have to lie on your side." I grab Night Fury, who was resting at the end of the bed and place him in front of Agnes. She lifts her head and hugs Night Fury tightly. "I love you."

"I love you too."