Bau Baddies
Hotch: Emily you need to redo your reports, you can't use red ink.
Emily: Who's says it's ink🤨🤨
Derek: it's seven in the morning. It is SEVEN IN THE MORNING
Y/n: omg when he can read time😱
Reid: It's actually 7:34AM.
JJ: ^
Hotch: no derek is right it's too early for this please just fix your paperwork Em I cant hand that in.
Rossi: Who put glitter in my pens so that when I use them it exploded everywhere??
Hotch: Lol what? Are you serious?
Emily: LMAO THATS SO FUCKING FUNNY 😭😭 WHO DID THAT I WANNA HIGH FIVE YOU
Y/n: HOTCH WHYD YOU SAY THAT LIKE THAT WAS IT YOU???
Derek: 🕺🏾🕺🏾🎉🎉🎉
Hotch: No.
Reid: I didn't do it I just told Derek an effective way to ensure the glitter confettis when the pen is used.
Derek: GET FUCKED ROSSI 🥳🥳🕺🏾🕺🏾🕺🏾
Rossi: Why? Retirement is lookin fresh rn
JJ: GUYS I FEEL BAD WE SHOULD EASE UP ON HIM 💀💀
Derek: Its just glitter itll go away in 5-6 years prolly😘😘
Hotch: I am begging you guys to never do that to me.
Y/n: give us raises or else 🎉🎉
Emily: or else🍆✂️
Derek: AYO??😭😨
Hotch: Can I bargain and instead next time you all go out I'll tag along for once instead of going home?
Emily: DEAL
Y/n: fine I GUESS 🥱
Emily: wait where'd my scissors go??
Hotch: You chased Derek with them two times.
Emily: AND??? 🤨
Hotch: Third time isn't a charm.
Derek: THANK YOU BAU DILF OMG SHE SCARY.🕺🏾🕺🏾
Hotch: Call me that again and I'll give them back.
Y/n: I'll go make popcorn 🥳🥳
Reid: Emily have I told you how much I value you as a coworker and friend?
Emily: I'd never chase you with scissors spence dont worry 🧚🏻♀️🧚🏻♀️
Reid: Thank God.
Y/n: NOT HIM SUCKING UP OUT OF FEAR 😭😭
Reid: Out of fear of deez nuts.
Derek: YO THAT WASNT ME????😭😭😭
Emily: DEREK YOU BROKE HIM OMG NO 😨😨
Hotch: Oh lord I knew it would happen one time or another. Reid please don't.
Reid: Is it not funny?
Derek: ITS HILARIOUS DO NOT LISTEN TO THEM 🥶🥶🥶
Reid: :)
Garcia: :0 spence
Emily: ew why is Hotch back to normal #BRINGBACKFUNNYHOTCH
Y/n: ^ I will riot
Derek: yeah wtf hotch
Hotch: It is too early for me to be funny, my apologies.
Emily: UGH 🥱🥱
Rossi: There is glitter in places glitter should not be.
Derek: LMAOO🥳🥳
Rossi: :(
Garcia: glitter is forever ;_; rip
Emily: glitter dick
Derek: AYO OUT OF POCKET 🤨🤨
Hotch: ...
Y/n: ^ HES LAUGHING I CAN HEAR HIM IN HIS OFFICE LMAOOO
JJ: PLEASE💀💀👩🏼🦯
Rossi: x2 :(
Derek: I CAN NOT😭😭😭😭
Emily: 🏃🏻♀️ IM OUT OF HERE
Reid: How would glitter even..?
Garcia: Don't think about it too hard angelface, I made cookies do you want one? :D
Reid: Ooo! Yes please I'm on my way!
Derek: 😱😱😱🥶🥶🥶🥶🤬🤬🤬⁉️⁉️⁉️
Emily: why r u like this
JJ: :)
Emily: I'm in love with you.
Derek: 😭😭WHAT
Y/n: whens the wedding?
YOU ARE READING
BAU groupchat + Reader
Fanfictionhow I think the BAU team would text eachother except you're also on the team dealing with their antics Some stuff is out of character and I exaggerated their personalities for comedic value, enjoy!
