Chasing Dylan

Chapter Fifty One

My psychiatrist, Dr Scott, sat in my hospital room just as she did everyday for the past two weeks, and just stared at me. In silence.

"What do you want me to say? I already told you everything that happened. What more do you want?" I was becoming increasingly irritated with this woman. Every day it was the same thing. I recounted my kidnapping, and my feelings towards Kelly. I had nothing left to say about the situation, I only wanted to forget it.

"Let's talk about the light situation." She said, pushing her glasses up.

"What light situation?" I asked, confused.

"Well, since you came out of your coma, you haven't been able to sleep in the dark. Your room light has been on every night for the last two weeks."

I shook my head instantly. "That can't be true."

"It is Dylan, I've been keeping track of these things. Is there a reason why you can't turn the lights off at night?"

"No, there isn't."

"Dylan, if we aren't honest with one another, there is no way to move forward. If you continue to dodge these issues, it will only take longer for you to get discharged from the hospital and go home."

I ran my hand through my hair and huffed angrily.

"I don't like the dark. Okay? Now, can I go home?"

"You cannot. I want you to elaborate Dylan. What about the dark bothers you?"

I closed my eyes and aggressively massaged my temples.

"I was in the dark for weeks. The wine cellar had no outside light. The only time it wasn't dark was when Kelly came in to torture me, and I'd preferred the dark then. I slept in the dark, I woke up in the dark. You see these scars?!" I yelled, holding my hands in front of her face.

"My wrists and fingers will be scarred forever because it was too fucking dark to see how badly I was slashing myself with a god damn broken wine bottle!" I cried angrily.

Dr Scott frowned as she scribbled something down in her notebook.

"You said Kelly tortured you. Do you want to elaborate on that?"

I laughed humorlessly, looking up at her. "No, I don't want to elaborate on it, but I have no choice, do I?"

She took her glasses off and placed them on the table.

"Dylan, you can do whatever you want. You may have not had any choices when you were abducted, but now, all you have are choices. It is up to you whether you want to share your experiences with me. And it is up to me to decide if it is safe for you to go home."

"Then what choice do I really have if I can't just get up and leave. If I can't just walk out of this hospital, go home, throw myself into a book and forget that the last month ever happened."

"And that right there is the problem. This last month did happen to you, and trying to pretend that it didn't is detrimental to your mental health." She put her glasses back on and stood up.

"I can't allow you to go until I know that you won't be a danger to yourself or others. I'm sorry Dylan, and I know that this is frustrating for you especially after everything you've gone through. Just know that everything I am doing is for your benefit. I'll be back tomorrow, same time. I'm glad that we were able to get somewhere today."

I had nothing to say to her, and simply stared down at my nails until she walked out of the room.

She said I had choices, but it felt like the opposite. It felt like I was still trapped in that wine cellar with nowhere else to go.