The love triangle **[ONGOING]**

Chapter 3

Disclaimer - This section may contain topics triggering to some people so viewer discretion is advised

I saw Blair's dad coming out of the school building with a deadbeat expression on his face and his eyes held a sadness I had never ever seen. I ran up to him and said, "Is Blair okay?? Where is she?? ". He looked up at me and shook his head with tears threatening to tumble out of his eyes. Ohmygod. No, no, no.

She couldn't be dead- she just couldn't. Just yesterday we were joking about boys and school homework. She was the one constant in my life. She couldn't be dead. She'll meet me tomorrow at school and tell me about her day yesterday with her blonde hair in the hair and a wide smile pasted on her face which in turn would make me smile and her amused facial expressions would make me break into a fit of laughs.

I shook my head and ran to the hilltop. It was the one place where I and Blair went to whenever we hung out. Used to. We used to go there together, and while I wrote, it was no secret that I loved to write, she gave me all the new gossip in the school. While sitting on the hilltop, I felt anger burst through my veins until all I could see was red. I felt angry at the world. The world took the one person from me who actually knew the real me and loved me through all my faults.

She was my fucking best friend and she was gone in a blink of an eye. I was angry at the shooter for killing my damn best friend and I was angry at myself for not coming to school today. She didn't deserve this, she didn't. She was one of the most genuine and kind people in the world who always made everyone in her company feel happy. If only I had come to the school today, she would have been alive. If only I had been shot instead of her. If only I would have saved her.

I got up and headed back to that house and locked myself in the bathroom. Even the moon seemed to be shining darkly today, it was almost as if the world had become a darker place without Blair.The burden of knowing that I was living with a rapist and losing my best friend who was the one person I trusted was too much.

Over the next coming weeks, I became a living skeleton. The hole in my chest was too much to bear. My eyes were now a permanent red and my eyes had dark circles. I wasn't even living, I was just existing. I stopped eating, not that I ate much earlier, I didn't bother defending myself against the people who snickered at me in the hallway and called me names, I stopped showering and I even stopped writing.

It was just unfair that Blair left but the sun still shined through and the world still went on while I felt like my world had collapsed. Long ago when Blair was alive and she got to know how much I loved writing, she made me promise her to never stop writing no matter what. I tried honoring her wish but it hurt doing even the most simple tasks and writing was a dead end.

The one person who kept bothering me was Caleb. He tried to stop me and talk to me many more times than I could count but I always shut him down as I didn't want his pity, I didn't want anyone talking to me out of pity or even looking at me. As the days passed on, my life basically sucked big time. There wasn't any motivation for me to do anything and it hurt big time. Breathing air felt like my lungs were being poked with needles.

I even stopped my regular visits to the nursing home where I went to help around as I loved helping people and it used to make me happy seeing the twinking faces of old people laughing around and cracking jokes. Notice how I said used to? Nothing made me happy nowadays, there was nothing more I wanted than to give up and lose this fight.

During one of these days, I found some blades lying around on the countertop and I slit open my skin and it felt as if some of the pain evaporated through. I continued doing this till both my arms were covered in blade marks. I was ashamed of myself, yes, but that didn't stop me from hurting myself even more.

One day while I was going through the hallway, someone yelled, "Why don't you go and die bitch. Your best friend already died and no one even fucking wants you here.". I knew that they said to only get a reaction out of me but it somehow struck a nerve. As I thought more about it, the idea of dying somehow seemed more appealing. The pain would stop and no one would even be affected by it.

As soon as school ended, I went to the nearest bridge around our school and thought about how easy it would be to just jump. As I was about to wipe my shitty existence from the face of the earth, a firm and strong hand pulled me back and screamed, "What the fuck do you think you are doing?? Are you alright doll??". With a gasp, I realized that the person who pulled me back was Caleb. The person who saved my life was Caleb, the guy I had been avoiding for a long time. I tried to speak confidently but all that came out of my mouth were muffled cries and tears streaming down my cheeks.

Caleb held my hand gently and pulled me into a hug. I don't know if it was the lack of physical contact I had or Caleb's warm body pressed against mine or Caleb's company but my body began to fill with a warm sensation and I leaned more into him and whispered, "You are the first person to ask me that." That was the last thing I remembered before my knees became weak and I passed out.