Egotistical

24.0

      I was under Dayquellz ass so he couldn't drop me off, I turned of both of our alarms before we went to sleep so when we woke up it was almost noon. He had to go do some things and he left me in the house, I was glad he thought he over slept and left me there thinking I was still sleep.

  Guess it looks lifeless like me

I hummed a long to the lyrics as the hot water hit my body,my eyes where closed and my mind was deep in my own thoughts. Maybe I was a bratt? I played with my fingers a bit thinking all the times someone called me that. Than all the times I got mad simply because Dj didn't do what I expected him to do or because he didn't do what I wanted. Summary, I suck. I don't get how he puts up with me but then again last night he was literally telling me to get out and I wasn't getting the hint. I don't get why I feel like he should want to spend all his time with me, that's toxic. I'm toxic. "I'm toxic" I said outloud hoping that would somehow magically change my ways. Me and Dayquellz were toxic. I'm to codependent huh? "Fuck fuck fuck fuck king, this is why nobody wants to be around you" I mumbled to myself. I banged my head against the shower wall a few times hoping it would either knock the thoughts out of my head or make up for what I did last night. I hit my head harder and harder each time until I heard the door slam shut and loud laughters. Damn it. The water was turning cold anyway so I got out and finished getting ready. I pulled on something warm  a simple sweat suit because it was December outside and my nose was already running from fucking around last night and being outside to much. 

Jordan
Hey, wanna hang out later?

After texting Jordan I exited the bathroom and went downstairs to the commotion, which was no other than who I expected to be here with quelly, Rakim and Gage.  "You got it like that king? You said tell that bitch leave and she lefffftt?" Gage joked as soon as he saw me. Rakim only glared at his boyfriend? Honestly I couldn't tell with them anymore.

"He don't got it like nothing, he finna go home right now" Quelly didn't even look up from rolling his blunt as the words left his mouth. "Fix your face, you ain't at school like you should be are you? Ain't home where you should be are you? Okay. You got away with enough" I still dragged my feet closer to him not liking the answer.

"Y'all are disgusting to watch" Rakim added and both me and Dayquellz eyes shot up.

"Says you- you still dating that girl?"

"Yeah are you?" Gage popped in the conversation quicker than I ever seen him do so before.

"Shut the fuck up sometimes damn Dj" Rakim muttered as I leaned against the Boy .He was sitting down now toasting his blunt before lighting it. He moved his arm and put it around my waist so I wasn't pressing against his arm and shoulder.

"Why I have to leave?" I whispered as soon as I saw the spot I sat right down on his lap. "I miss you, you been mad at me all week"

"Yeah for doing the same shit you did last night now ion wanna see you on my door step for a week, if you show up past 10:30 make it two— you gonna learn today" he hit his blunt and looked at me to make sure I was listening.

"Thats mad longgg" I whined and he shrugged hitting the blunt again.

"Better start listening to me dawg" I just mushed his face away from me and frowned. He must've found it amusing because he paid it no mind even tried to pass me the blunt! Like I would take that shit. "Come on we finna leave - imma meet y'all there when I drop him off" he placed me on my feet then got up himself. Draggging my feet the whole time I didn't want to go, I would be bored all weekend so I would probably spend two days with Arielle instead of one. The car ride was quiet, if this was tough love I didn't want this anymore. We pulled up to my house and I was ready to get out without saying anything, the thing I do love sometimes is something in my blood always wants to hold the grudge. ALWAYS. even if I was in the wrong. "You was just finna leave without saying bye?" He asked holding me back by my shirt as I was halfway out the door.