We Need To Talk

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Bucky decides one day to head down to the gym he used to work at and visit some of the guys while Lizzie was at work.

He always really liked his coworkers and he really liked the job too.

"Bucky! Did they kick you out of the army already?" Robbie asks with a smile.

"No, not yet. I'm just waiting for my orders so I get to stay at home for a month or two," he says.

"And how is that beautiful fiancé of yours?" Robbie asks.

"As beautiful as ever," Bucky responds.

He looks around and tries to find the other guys.

"Where's Chris and Tommie?" Bucky asks.

"Chris is in the back, I'll get him," Robbie says.

Robbie brings Chris out and he gives Bucky a hug.

"The army kick you out already?" Chris asks.

"Sorry Chris, Robbie already made that joke. Where's Tommie by the way? I was hoping to see him too," Bucky say.

They both exchange a wary glance before responding

"Tommie is taking some personal time to help his sister. Her husband got killed overseas," Robbie says.

"Oh my God, is she alright?" Bucky asks.

"Of course she isn't. The women who have been losing their men never are. My neighbor lost her husband and I could hear her wailing from my house," Chris says.

"I honestly don't know who have it worse in this war, those leaving or those left behind," Robbie adds.

The conversation with Chris and Robbie haunt him for the rest of the day.

Bucky walks to the house but his mind is still whirling so he walks some more.

Bucky never wants Lizzie to hurt. If he could, he would take every bit of pain for her.

He was however helpless to stop the pain that his death would cause.

He starts to imagine what the pain would be like if he lost her.

As he imagines it, he feels like he could throw up. Even just imagining her dead brings him into a panic. What would he do if she really died?

He hasn't had the reoccurring nightmares of her death like he used to but he can still easily recall the images.

He hopes that she never has to be faced with those feelings. He never wants her to feel that kind of pain.

Maybe he should've ended things with her before he left for boot camp. Then maybe it wouldn't hurt so much for her if he dies.

Maybe it's not to late to save her some of that pain. It makes him sick to think about breaking things off with her but maybe it would save her some heartbreak in the end.

He knows that if he can save her at all, he has to swallow his own pain and do what needs to be done.

He can only pray that if he survives, she'll take him back.

He resolves that breaking things off with her will be for the best.

He hopes that his parents or Rebecca will take him in because surely Lizzie will kick him out.

He makes it to the house way faster than he would like. He knows Lizzie is home and he is dreading the upcoming conversation.

He wishes he could just have one more night with her but he knows the sooner he does it, the better off she will be.

He walks into the living room and she is sitting on the couch with a book on her lap.

She hasn't seen him yet so he takes a moment to take her in. He knows this very well might
be the last time he sees her and he doesn't want to forget a thing.

She looks up and gives a little jump.

"Oh my God Jamie! I didn't see you standing there," Lizzie says.

"Sorry," he says quietly.

"It's okay, how was the gym?" She asks.

"It was fine, it was nice seeing the boys," Bucky says.

She finally recognizes that something is off about his voice and mannerisms.

"What's going on Bucky?" She asks worriedly.

He takes a seat next to her on the couch and grabs one of her hands in his.

"We need to talk," Bucky says.

"Okay, about what?" She asks cautiously.

He thinks about easing into it but feels that it's better to just rip of the bandage.

"I want to break up," Bucky admits.

Lizzie feels such relief flood her just.

"Oh, thank God. You had me worried," Lizzie says.

She releases his hands and picks her book back up and opens it.

He grabs it from her hands and places it back on the couch.

"Did you hear what I said? I think we should break up," Bucky repeats.

"We're not breaking up Bucky," Lizzie says calmly like she is explaining something complex to a five year old.

He doesn't know how to handle this reaction. He expected her to cry or throw things. He didn't expect her to be so calm.

"Lizzie, we need to break up," Bucky says.

He needs to stick to his guns even though she is confusing the hell out of him.

"Honestly, you lasted longer than I thought you would. I thought you would try something like this before you left for camp. Let me guess, you want to break up so if you die, it will hurt less?" Lizzie asks.

He doesn't know how to respond because that is exactly his reasoning and she picked it apart so easily.

His silence is her cue that she is right.

"Jamie, I love you more than life itself but sometimes you can be so dense. It doesn't matter if I lose you when we are together or apart, it's going to hurt just as much. If it was the other way around and you lost me, would it really hurt any less if I had broken up with you first?" Lizzie reasons.

He didn't really flip that scenario in his head.

"How do you do that!" Bucky asks in astonishment.

"Do what?" Lizzie asks.

"You always take the things that I think about for hours and show me how stupid I'm being in seconds," Bucky says.

"I think God made women to stop men from doing stupid things," Lizzie says with a teasing smile.

"I can't deny that," Bucky admits.

"Now, are you done spitting out stupid ideas?" Lizzie asks.

"Yes, I'm done," Bucky admits.

"Good, now will you come kiss me hello and tell me how your day went?" Lizzie asks.

"Sure thing, doll," Bucky says.

He grabs her ankles and yanks them towards him so she is laying on the couch and he crawls up her body. He gives her a long but loving kiss on the lips.

As he looks down at her, he realizes what a terrible idea breaking it off with her would be.

How could he live without this woman?

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