84. hurts like hell

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It hurt. 

It hurt like hell knowing the love of my life was gone. 

When Gabriel had revealed Bellamy's 'death' on Bardo I was broken...but I still had hope. Part of me could still feel that he was alive. 

It felt like I had lost that spark of hope now. Every ounce of my body felt exhausted, broken down and worn out. 

When I lost my brother, it had been the hardest day of my life...but I had had Bellamy. Now, I had neither of them. 

Raven had followed me into the bunker, even Murphy had tagged along. But I had refused to speak to a either one of them. 

I sat on the ramp of the rotunda, my legs pulled up to my chest as I rested my chin on my knees. Staring forward, I tried to fight the feeling of my heart bursting-breaking. 

Octavia had refused to come back inside, and quite frankly I didn't blame her. 

I thought of her and how she felt. She lost her brother- this time for real. I knew the pain of that was unimaginable. 

But so was this pain. How do you move on when you lost the person you trusted most in this life? The person you loved most.

Part of me felt that I couldn't move on. There was no hope anymore. Bellamy was dead. 

How could I live each day knowing I would never see his face again? Knowing I would never feel his touch or hear his voice? I wasn't sure that was much of a life. 

"No one wants to live here." Gaia announced from down below as a group of them shone lights around what would be our home for the time being. "But it'll do until we build our own shelter. There's a river close by, so plenty of drinking water."

I watched as the group gathered in the rotunda, a game plan being formulated. "Have you found another food source?" Gabriel wondered. 

Pulling myself out of the ball I had curled up in, I stood and slowly made my way down the ramp to join the rest of them. I had to be strong...at least until I was alone. 

Murphy shot me a quick glance, a small smile coming to his face as everyone watched me for a moment. I didn't say anything, just kept my head down. 

Gaia tilted her head slightly. "We hear birds, insects...so there must--"

"What about power, Hot water?" Raven interrupted.

"No."

Murphy let out an exaggerated groan. "That's it. I'm out of here. Where's the funky ball with the green light?"

"There's no stone here." Jordan countered. "We checked."

"No. There has to be." Gabriel argued. "That's how Cadogan got his people out."

Cadogan. 

The name caused anger to course through me at an unimaginable level. Clarke may have been the one to kill Bellamy, but in my eyes, Cadogan forced her hand. 

"We lived here for six years." Niylah declared. "I think we would have seen it."

Raven picked up her helmet and pulled it over her head. "One way to find out."

I crossed my arms over my chest, my eyes feeling almost impossible to keep open. Too much had happened for me to focus. 

"Raven, we tried that." Jordan assured. "Our helmets showed no sign of the Stone."

The helmet was barely on Raven's head for ten seconds by the time she pulled it off. "100 feet, straight down."

The stone was buried?

𝐒𝐀𝐋𝐕𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍─𝐛𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐦𝐲 𝐛𝐥𝐚𝐤𝐞²Where stories live. Discover now