stay with me • albedo

14 -- Yunjin's backstory.

[UNEDITED]

*MAY CONTAIN POSSIBLE TRIGGERS! PROCEED W CAUTION*

YUNJINS POV.

My life hasn't been an easy one.

I had been born with a silver spoon in my mouth -- My parents were successful in their business and I was taken care of by my nanny and butlers. My early childhood memories were slightly hazy, but I could tell that that time was the time I was truly innocent and happy.

Growing up, I was surrounded by many friends. They took care of me, played with me despite being of different backgrounds; they kept me humble and down to earth. But due to the strictness of my parents, I wasn't allowed to hang out with that friend group anymore. That devastated me, and I slowly found myself being close off.

They said that it was for my own good. They said that it was because of their love for me.

Love, is something I will never understand.

My parents always told me that they loved me, but do they really? Or were they just using me, educating me such that I'll grow up to take over their million dollar business? Thoughts like this never crossed my head when I was young; I was carefree and It didn't matter whether I understood anything, because my career path was decided from the very start.

And soon enough, I entered middle school where it all begins.

I was 13 when I first fell in love.

He was slightly taller than me by a few inches, his eyes sharp like a fox and his mouth often turned into a heart when he laughed. I fell in love at first sight -- I felt like it was fate, since he was extremely nice to me from what I remembered; he always walked me home everyday after school, bought me street snacks and played with me at the playground near to my house.

My parents were aware of it, however, they paid no mind to it since they knew it was just some puppy love that would end in a few weeks time. But of course, I was 13. I was young, naive and mostly dumb. I thought I would grow up and marry him, then live the life I wanted from there. Definitely, things can't always go the way you want.

I found out that the boy was only using me for money.

Suddenly, everything made sense. Him asking for money for him and his friends to go to the arcade after school, him always asking for me to treat him to lunches, him asking me to buy the latest models of smartphones or gaming devices; it all clicked to me the moment I became aware of it.

I was blinded by anger and I broke things off with him almost immediately. Heartbroken, I wanted him to feel the same amount of pain I felt when I realised the things he used me for. I started dating guys, heck, I even started to date girls. That was when I started realising my attraction to both genders, and even more genders.

I ended up dating more people than my own fingers could count, eventually numbed to the word we call 'Love', numbed to the love that people so often glorify. And slowly, I became numb to my own feelings, and to myself as a whole.

I thought I would be okay since I still had my family, and my protective parents who I loved. But things only started to go downhill from there. My parents' business was failing and we were slowly becoming bankrupt; we ended up having to sell our mansion and retract our contracts with the maids, butlers and nannies who had been there since childhood. I was upset, but this was all in the process of growing up.

I had no choice but to go with it.

When we were still loaded with money, I often performed infront of huge audiences in the most extravagant theatres you could ever imagine; I was coached by one of the most famous coaches in Korea. But now? the only audience I can perform infront are strangers on the street. I can't even afford one lesson with a coach. Performing used to be one of my favourite things to do, but slowly it became something I hated.