Dear diary,
It has been a long while since I've written an entry with the last one over a year ago. I was raging with so much stress, anxiety, worry and frustration that I needed an outlet.
Once again, my fingers have brought me back to you. The you whom I've long forgotten.
Having no control of my mind as I, as natural as the setting of the sun, picks up my pen and started digging through the shelves in search for you.
My mind once more haven't been able to rest. But luckily the situation at hand seems to be in control with signs of getting better.
Namjoon, Jin and Jungkook seem to have— Ah right, just to update you, I now live with BTS, it's a long story but that's not what's important right now.
Anyways, their problems seemed to be resolved and yet my heart is palpitating unnaturally fast. Tonight, everything is ghost quiet, with only the scribbling scratches of my pen and the occasional creak of my chair accompanying me.
Everything feels so eerie. I cannot explain the feeling I'm getting to you in words well enough, but I can only say that with each word I write, my hand continues to tremble and my breath shaky.
The blood red rose that Chanyeol had gifted me in the past isn't doing much help of my situation either. The crimson colour appears to stick out like a sore thumb amongst the black and white.
It screams danger.
I had never felt so disturbed by that drop dead gorgeous flower as I do right now. The petals remain soft and dewy throughout the years and that itself was already a mystery.
However tonight it represents a bad omen in my mind.
Something is coming for me and I'm scared witless(if my atrocious handwriting is of any indication).
In the darkness of this very night, I couldn't do my training routine. I couldn't bring myself to move. It isn't a simple lack of motivation. Believe me! I wouldn't lie to you! Something is coming, and I can feel it!
I can't breathe now.
(Suffocating myself)
I can't think straight.
(That red rose screams)
I can't control myself.
(Cold truths are coming)
I need to maintain cool.
(Help me)
NO- LISTEN.
- L/N Y/N
xx/xx/20xx
3.49am
____________
Author's note:
Thank you all so much for your love and support, I really appreciate it.
Also, please note that this is related to the story and isn't a sole special. I do hope that it sheds some form of light on Y/N as a person and also her relationship with Chanyeol. In case you're still unclear, this is a legitimate diary entry that is written in Y/N's notebook within the story.
Anyways, please do stay safe and feel free to vote and comment.
Stay happy readers! (｡◕‿◕｡)
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Ethereal Shadows (Bts x reader) <On Hiatus>
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